2019: That Was The Year That Was
Now that’s a scary title reference. Here I am trying to be culturally topical except that on checking I find that TW3 aired even before I was born 😱 !!
For the blog this has been a year of consolidation. It’s first full January to December. The first year of it being part of the furniture in our strange part of the blogosphere.
The melodyinsights Blog
Between us Swirly and I have published 155 posts this year containing over 120K words. Yes, I do consider Swirly to be an integral part of the character of this blog and I’m very proud to have her here and give her the space to express what she needs to say. I think it’s a very important place in the blog where people, especially women, can read what she has to say and find common ground with her. I have no knowledge of the private conversations that her posts generate beyond the fact that I know they occur. Yes folks – we really are two different people.
For me it has been an interesting year as is reflected in various posts. Christmas had been a horror show. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. What had been minor anxiety and depression issues turned in to the full blown real thing for about half the year. It was something I didn’t really want to face up to and acknowledge, hoping it would go away. What started to lift it was perhaps the most momentous and frightening thing I have ever done. The decision that I had to tackle my father over the previous Christmas and the only way to do that was to come out as trans. Something I’d vowed never to do. However, circumstances change and I had to put myself first.
This was the resulting post, Pater Familias. I wrote it in a state of dissociation and wasn’t expecting the effect it had on readers. I shed a few tears reading the comments and thank each and every one of you for the warmth and support.
This watershed moment released a few blocks that had been self-imposed. I’d wanted to have my ears pierced for a very long time. Doing so would have been a big give away to family. I no longer had that problem. So, I had a really wonderful day with my former mistress that provided a lovely closure to one of our back stories that gave the day incredible significance to both of us – The Symmetry Of Closure. And now, melody has quite a collection of earrings. This lady has evolved into an extremely close friend, we went out to dinner in mid-December – The Blessing of Friendship.
It’s been quite a year with my domme. As enigmatic as she is I’ve come to recognise that symbolism has importance to her and that there’s an unstated sentimental side. Early in the year our birthdays are four days apart and in between them it’s also the anniversary of the first time I nervously met her for an introduction to hypnosis. She’d never had reason to know about the anniversary, but after several years she was delighted to learn of it. The session coinciding with those landmarks was a special one and I wrote this It’s Only Pain shortly after.
Of course a CP session has a high pain element. Later in the year she surprised me by using a snakeskin single tail that for the best part of three years since I bought it off her wishlist she’d gently let me know I wasn’t ready for it. This time I was, barely. It really brought home just how far she’s taken me, especially with the use of hypnosis – Snake Bite.
There have been some wonderful times in that dungeon. I’d only been seeing her about 8 months or so when she took over that dungeon and I saw it before she applied her touch and personality to it. This year she closed it to move onto new pastures and ventures. I’m sure the long term date in the diary was a fortuitous coincidence, however, I do choose to believe that symbolism had a part to play in making me the very last session conducted there. Slightly emotional to say goodbye to the place and from this post I know others have fond memories of it, too – Barnet Bastille – Farewell.
I can’t leave off talking about my D/s year without touching on the hypnosis element. It’s an incremental thing that has settled into a rhythm and as such, without a ‘big’ moment I haven’t written too much on it this year. Undoubtedly it helps me expand in so many ways. Not least the confidence to be and do things as melody that would have terrified me not that long ago, as evidenced in this post – Stepping Out.
There’s so much to thank my domme for in encouraging and supporting me in being and progressing who I am. Scratch the outer surface that a domme presents and invariably you find a person of deep compassion. I’ve been privileged to be let in to see much more beyond those scratches and it’s very special.
An important aspect to my blogging year has been inclusion and acceptance within the blogging community. Becoming part of the furniture, as it were. Delighted to be asked to pick spotlights for #WickedWednesday. Discovering prompts new to me that are well suited to my topics and writing style such as #TellMeAbout and #F4Thought.
Very personally satisfying has been my involvement with Sex Bloggers for Mental Health (#sb4mh), (@sb4mh) Being asked to help with the prompt is a way of giving back. It’s not that I do anything beyond read every post and comment. But I know how important it can be at times just to know that someone, anyone, has read your words. Thank you @sassycat38 and @May_Matters for asking me. There’s also a new-ish task to select a monthly spotlight from the #sb4mh posts to be included in May’s monthly SoSS – I love this collaboration.
Swirly Lives Here Too
Of course there are the posts from Swirly. She may do a summary of the year for herself, but as host and editor I can manage to highlight some posts. As part of the editor role I have to be somewhat dispassionate, only later can I take time to understand the many layers and their meanings. Personally, I think Swirly found her format in what she calls the #365Words (though word count can go out of the window when she’s on a roll 😂). It’s a format that can be read on so many levels of understanding, from those just interested in her story to those who have strong affinity with what she has experienced.
I’ve limited myself to a few standout posts. The first is one that she wrote quite early in the year that took nearly six months to be published. We had a lot of difficult discussions both before and during it being written, yet it always struck me as a sign of hope – SwirlingFire: The Assessment. Later in the year is one in the #365Words format that is a brilliant example of the genre and it resonated with a lot of people – SwirlingFire: Mental Media. I can’t finish this short list without an example of the humour and playfulness that’s ever present, though often masked when it comes to writing posts. One day Swirly showed great courage to take the train to London and meet real life Twitter folk – SwirlingFire: Swirly’s Grand Day Out
The stand out event was all Swirly’s doing. She entered herself in the Kinkly Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2019, where she received enough votes to be accepted on the 2019 list. She’s also been awarded a spot on Kilted Wookies 2019 Naughty List and I really loved her surprise when she was included in the #F4T Chef List 2019.
A late entry for my own momentous events is me becoming an aunt. I defy anyone not to be taken in by the vicious cuteness on display here – How I Became an Aunt. I’m following the adventures of this fluff ball of cuteness. She’s captured Swirly, too 😍🐾.
Some Favourite Blogs and People
For sheer industrious effort in maintaining their sites, various prompts and what they give to the community, I (melody) want to give a special mention to:
May More – As well as #F4Thought and #sb4mh, May writes a mixture of great fiction, very thoughtful non-fiction and contributes to sexy pictures. She’s been a good friend of this blog from very early on and has been very helpful to me, as I know she has been to others.
Marie A. Rebelle – Marie puts so much in to the community running #WickedWednesday, the Smut Marathon and others that we should all recognise the effort she expends. Marie is another who was an early friend of this blog.
Posy Churchgate – One of the first to find this blog and encourage it to become what it is now. I had a lovely lunch and afternoon with Posy earlier in the year and hope to do so again in the new year.
This post has become rather long already, the order of the following list is only related to at what point a realised I missed someone out and doesn’t include longer descriptions. If I’ve lost too many brain cells and missed you out, I didn’t mean to. Some of my favourite people and their blogs are:
- SweetGirl – always inspiring
- SassyCat – thoughtful and fun
- Cousin Pons – great writer
- MPBjulie – lovely person, pulling through with style
- Liz BlackX – I love her writing
- J Lynn – writing about her dynamics is well worth a read
- Mrs Fever – ever interesting
- Missy – in a D/s lifestyle and the force behind #TellMeAbout
- Masterseye – always insightful and great images
- JupiterGrant – amazing mixture of content
- PurpleSole & LittleGem – combined writings of a D/s couple
- DeviantSuccubus – many thoughtful words on sex, D/s, mental illness, goth; go read
- MastersMusings – husband to DeviantSuccubus
- Francesca Demont – wonderful writing from a rarely heard view point
- furcissy – deep and articulate on the ideas and motivations behind submission
- Life of Violet – wonderful writing style
Apologies to those I failed to remember in time.
A quick mention for the newest blogger I’ve come across MLSlavePuppet.
Not quite as new, though now branching out with his own blog, May’s other half Inigo More. That’s a very talented writing household.
November 10, 2022 @ 8:44 am
Hi greatt reading your blog
January 5, 2020 @ 10:11 pm
I always look forward to reading your and Swirly’s posts. Thank you so much for mentioning me here. I’m very honoured 😘
January 5, 2020 @ 10:35 pm
You’re very welcome, JG. You have such great variety in your talents. 🌹🌹
#SoSS #111: The First 2020 Edition - Rebel's Notes
January 4, 2020 @ 11:33 am
[…] receive a beautiful mention in Melody’s post, 2019: That Was The Year That Was: Marie puts so much in to the community running #WickedWednesday, the Smut Marathon and others that […]
December 31, 2019 @ 3:06 pm
I just realised you mentioned me and thank you so much. I love reading your words and those of Swirly. I’m looking forward to much more great stuff to come xx
December 31, 2019 @ 3:12 pm
How lovely, thank you. Very best wishes for 2020 🌹🌹
December 2019 Summary & The Lists #SoSS - Sex Matters by May More
December 31, 2019 @ 2:45 pm
[…] Melody’s Insights ~ 2019 That was the year that was […]
December 31, 2019 @ 12:06 pm
such a cute little furbaby …..
December 31, 2019 @ 12:10 pm
She’s ruthless with her cuteness 😻😹
December 31, 2019 @ 12:22 pm
oh they are aren’t they!
December 31, 2019 @ 12:26 pm
Rebel's Top 20 of '19 - Rebel's Notes
December 25, 2019 @ 8:00 am
[…] Mentioned by lovely Melody in her post, 2019: That Was The Year That Was. […]
December 23, 2019 @ 9:54 am
I think it’s always inspiring to see how someone develops over a year and so reading this post feels very inspiring. I’m very keen on reading back your past posts and reading future ones. I’m glad I came across you and your blog and thank you for including me in your list. I don’t really know how to respond to these kinds of compliments but thank you so much!
December 23, 2019 @ 12:16 pm
Virtually everyone here feels imposter syndrome when first faced with compliments and inclusion. Best to just take it as a sign to keep on writing 🌹🌹
December 23, 2019 @ 3:14 pm
Haha, that’s a good way to look at it!
December 22, 2019 @ 2:37 pm
Thank you for your kind words, Melody, and also your kindness. I love reading your blog, and that of Swirly, and some of which both of you have shared, made me feel brave enough to share my No Consent series.
December 22, 2019 @ 2:48 pm
We learn from and support each other, taking strength where we can find it. Personally, I don’t know where Swirly finds the strength and others say the same about me. It applies to you and all of us. Your input and strength breathes life into this community, if you’ve managed to take some from me, I’m really proud and happy. 🌹🌹
December 23, 2019 @ 2:34 pm
Thank you Marie. That means a lot. I’m glad you found the courage inside yourself to publish the darker sides of your life.
I don’t feel very strong lately.
I’m just a great actress 🤷♀️
December 21, 2019 @ 7:12 pm
Congratulations on a year if great posts – both informative and brim full of personal poignancy.
Its been an honour for you to share so much more than ” d/s stuff ” with me
Thank you for providing a safe harbour during the timeline storms
Best wishes for Christmas and a busy blogging 2020
December 22, 2019 @ 2:32 pm
You really are an integral part of this blog. Listening and talking to you behind the scenes is a privilege. 🤗🤗🤗
December 21, 2019 @ 5:39 pm
Well Melody- getting to know you a bit more and enjoying your writing has been one of my great blogging pleasures this year – I look forward to your posts.
Here’s to another great year of blogging for you…
And Thank you so much for my special mention.
December 21, 2019 @ 5:42 pm
You’ve been a real friend to the blog (and me) for a long time. I remember I was touched when I found you’d been scrolling back and came across some old obscure posts. 🌹💖
December 21, 2019 @ 4:59 pm
Wonderful year melody, you have grown, developed and progressed over many hurdles, and I’m delighted you’ve received recognition and validation for that.
I am delighted I discovered your site in the early days and am proud to name you as a friend – looking forward to our meet in 2020 also!
You’ve provided a wonderful safe place for Swirly to write and grow confidence and curating the #sb4MH meme is a lovely way to give back to the community.
Thank you for regularly visiting my blog and for giving me a shout out here, I’m in agreement with so many of your favourites and will take your advice by following those who are new to me. Here’s to a healthy 2020 – I hope your development of self and blogging continues to progress to your satisfaction.
December 21, 2019 @ 5:40 pm
Thank you, Posy. I’ve always appreciated your support 🌹🌹
December 23, 2019 @ 2:26 pm
Thank you Posy
December 21, 2019 @ 2:16 pm
Thank you so much Melody for including me in your list. I always enjoy reading your posts, (and Swirling fires too) and I find you inspirational too.
December 21, 2019 @ 2:27 pm
It’s a great community. I’ve been going almost two years and am still surprised at what I find of interest in other people’s writing and even more surprised that others are interested in mine. It’s one of the many questions I ask myself to which the only answer is … because.
Take care 🌹🌹
December 21, 2019 @ 2:32 pm
Its true…. just because 💋💕
December 21, 2019 @ 2:38 pm
December 21, 2019 @ 7:40 pm
Thank you, I wouldn’t be >here< without melody👠
December 21, 2019 @ 1:03 pm
Thanks for including me here. I have enjoyed reading about your journey this year, here’s to another year of exploring and opening next year.
My blog has moved to cleareyedgirl.net now, I moved to self hosting after being outed as I believe in not letting the bastards grind you down!!
December 21, 2019 @ 1:10 pm
Right … now I know why I was confused. I know I’d been reading your posts and but missed you’d been linking to the new host. Glad to correct and update. 🌹🌹
December 21, 2019 @ 5:39 pm