Monthly Archives: April 2019

SwirlingFire: Reflections Part 2 – Exposed

Reading Time: 4 minutes Reflections Part 2 – Exposed Married lovers ? Non Consensual non monogamous relationships Poly with  multiple partners that other partners  don’t know you’re Involved with but really should? Untreated STI Lying about sexual health Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase) Non disclosure of marital status long distance… Read More »

Bank Holiday Silliness

Reading Time: < 1 minute Gender dysphoria is often accompanied by body dysmorphia.  For some it’s debilitating.  Fortunately, I only have a light version of it.  I was doing well last year with weight loss until I got seriously ill and ended up putting half of it back on.  I’m finding it depressingly hard to shift. Looking at myself can set off all… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Glowing Embers

Reading Time: 4 minutes CONTENT WARNING Mild references to Gaslighting Mild references to Sexual Assault “….. How will you re-engage with counselling ?   You have a shit load to say now !  …..”

Do I Love or Hate Pain ? – Yes

Reading Time: 3 minutes I don’t watch or browse porn.  I certainly used to.  If I had to put my finger on it, the (never intense) interest in porn waned as the chastity lifestyle took hold and other parts of my makeup that I now recognise had a chance to incubate and then germinate. If someone pointed me at a video, I… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Reflection

Reading Time: 5 minutes   Reflection   When we, okay I, think of blogging, I always think of the romantic frothy persona created by Carrie Bradshaw – the lead character from ‘sex and the City’ all those years ago.  The truth is my life is nothing like hers apart from one (two if you count luxury footwear) major similarity. We both make… Read More »

It’s Just Banter, Isn’t It?

Reading Time: 5 minutes Content / Trigger Warning Sexual Harassment Rape Male victims This piece goes outside my usual themes.  Over the years I’ve heard a lot in public and in confidence about the struggles and consequences of women with male behaviour ranging from the unthinking harassment of ‘banter’ to full on sexual, physical and mental aggression. My sympathy, empathy and support… Read More »

My Lifestyle Rules

Reading Time: 3 minutes I’ve spent some time considering this simple word and frankly, I must be a disappointment in this respect. I first encountered online forums some 25 years ago and if you want obsessive rules, these are still the places to go.  Whether it was the high protocol rooms on IRC – ‘slave must kneel and ask permission to enter… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Circle of Flames

Reading Time: 4 minutes   Circle of Flames   Something has been playing on my mind for quite some time. Boundaries. I realise I’ve never had many or as I’m beginning to accept – any. On early arrival onto Twitter somebody during the course of a DM conversation used the term ‘people pleaser’.  The descriptions certainly echoed many things I was doing… Read More »

Why I’m not an Ally

Reading Time: < 1 minute It’s a lovely, inclusive honourific to receive from a friend, but I’m really coming to loathe the term.  Maybe that’s not quite right, I think what I loathe is the fakeness it generates in the broader world. At best it’s a badge to show off right-on credentials and moral superiority.  At worst it’s cover for perpetrators to continue… Read More »

Colour Coordination

Reading Time: < 1 minute Generally I hate the thought of posting something self-indulgent.  Then once in a while I think, what the hell, this is my blog. Over recent months melody has become primary enough to be out and about in public.  Yesterday was a long trip to the dungeon, which means stops at service stations and being exposed to the public. … Read More »

Judgement

Reading Time: 3 minutes “I can’t believe you did that !!” My first words in over an hour, though they had been silently going around my head as I left the artist to her work. “What ?  You mean beating lumps out of your arse followed by needles ?” “Yeah, that” Impact play and needles are both major endorphin generators.  When she’s… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Silent Scream

Reading Time: 2 minutes Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon.  As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me.  Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually very good at… Read More »

Castration Fetish

Reading Time: 6 minutes Content Warning NSFW cartoon of FemDom castration (at the end) This post can be blamed on @PosyChurchgate.  She commented on my Asexuality post and made the mistake of asking me to expand on castration fetish. It’s the sort of topic that elicits sniggers and winces and yet, surprisingly, it also garners more quiet interest than you might think. … Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 10, You Do It To Yourself

Reading Time: 3 minutes Hypnosis – You do it to yourself. The sub-conscious acts on the suggestions it wants to, those compatible with its desires and fantasies.  The hypnotist can’t make you want incompatible things, but they can manipulate the intensity of your desire to facilitate their suggestions for things you knowingly and unknowingly want, lowering barriers to adoption and implementation. The… Read More »