Monthly Archives: August 2019

SwirlingFire: The Core

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Core One step forward Feeling brave Finding A voice They think she’s a fool Learning starting The knave raising defences boundaries to make People around her Notice sigh “Fake” Eye rolls The mocking Waiting for signs Told you She’ll turn Static and flywheel No middle gears Hurting lonely No one around The heart breaking So quiet Barely… Read More »

Labour of Love

Reading Time: 4 minutes   You might call this weekend a labour of love with lots of added nostalgia. Over five years ago my former Mistress (P) stopped being a domme.  She became a pro-domme after her online business went down the pan due to Chinese fakes flooding the market.  It never really suited her as the difference between lifestyle and pro… Read More »

SwirlingFire: The “Why?” Of blogging

Reading Time: 4 minutes The “Why?” Of blogging I’m forever trying to figure out what I’ve done in this life to attract abusive, malevolent, intrusive, selfish, violent – verbal, physical and bullying – behaviour from two faced judgemental “perfect” people. It still continues, without direct contact – unprovoked. There will be more exploratory blogs of processing that will be written before I… Read More »

[F4TFriday] I Write

Reading Time: 4 minutes   I write. For work I’ve written dry technical documents for far too many years.  It’s a feature of the tech world that when someone has spent long enough at the coal face such that they’re quite valuable in that role, they get set to writing documents and specifications about it.  The ability to spell and use grammar… Read More »

The Waft of Jelly Babies

Reading Time: 3 minutes   Someone suggested that this should be the title if I ever wrote a book on my travels through D/s and kink. It’s a flippant title that has a serious message within it.

SwirlingFire: Rituals and Memories

Reading Time: 3 minutes Rituals and Memories It’s the way I tell ’em  – Frank Carson, Comedian I like my life to be structured, ordered and in manageable sized tasks.  It’s the best way I can handle all facets of external Influences without becoming overwhelmed and not losing my cool. My daily rituals are tweaked, trialled, tested and usually fail. I’m still… Read More »

SwirlingFire: You’re Worthless So I Subtweet

Reading Time: 4 minutes You’re Worthless So I Subtweet I won’t ever ask you questions I won’t communicate Or share My thoughts With you, I’m too cowardly. I tell My friends about you. I make incorrect assumptions about you and your words, to mock you and your pathetic life. I know nothing about you I never read your blogs. I pull your words… Read More »

SwirlingFire: The Hero Is The Villian

Reading Time: 4 minutes The Hero Is The Villain My mind is awash with swirling thoughts crashing into each other and not having anywhere to safely stow them whilst I’m processing the dozen other thoughts that were already crashing together inside my head. Sensory overload is a documented state.  Only once my thoughts have calmed down to a gentler slower movement am I… Read More »

Self Indulgent Post – II (Revisited)

Reading Time: 2 minutes   It’s that time again.  I went back to read what I wrote this time last year.  This year there is one more year of melody getting stronger and having her own perspective.  This adds a different poignancy in that following the ‘outing’ conversation with my father it was clear that the same conversation if my mother had… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Colour Me Stupid

Reading Time: 5 minutes   Colour Me Stupid The #F4TFriday prompt #111 asks for words to live by: “Not my circus, Not my (flying) Monkeys” For the most part, I don’t have many happy memories as they occurred either side of something unpleasant imprinted in my mind.  Sadly the good parts were blocked along with any unpleasantness. There are now some better… Read More »

Taboo Redux

Reading Time: 2 minutes   In a different frame of mind this post could have been for the #F4TFriday #110 prompt of Taboo. Content Notice Needle Play Pictures In the original Twitter thread about what is Taboo ?  There were a few references to medical play, including needle play.  For those unable to proceed here’s a picture of kittens whilst you press… Read More »

[F4TFriday] Live Your Truth

Reading Time: 4 minutes   Let’s face it, the majority of the words we live by are given to us, with varying degrees of force, by people who want to control us, make us conform to their concepts of how we should live.  They are thrown at us all our lives, if we let them.

SwirlingFire: Light in the Dark

Reading Time: 6 minutes Content Advisory General references to rape and rape-play. NO details or descriptions.   Light in the Dark Do you acknowledge CNC/RAPE fantasy and DV/RAPE to be totally different ? CNC is seen as a “taboo” kink – mainly by those of us who don’t understand what it involves.  Far from any awkward ways of describing what is or… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Overshare (#sb4mh repost)

Reading Time: 5 minutes SwirlingFire: Overshare (#sb4mh repost) I’ve chosen blog post #24 to submit to this weeks #sb4mh  “Select a blog BEFORE you found #sb4mh”, This particular post (Jan 2019) was, on reflection, a very difficult and lonely time for me. 2018 had thrown some cleverly devious manipulation into the mix whilst I was deeply into pre trauma counselling.  Someone I… Read More »