Category Archives: #SB4MH

Pater Familias

I did something for the first time ever this Father’s Day, I muted the words on Twitter. I don’t mean it was the first time I’d muted these particular words, it was the first time I’d muted anything at all. This is all quite strange because it wasn’t about poignant or hard memories, it was the fact that… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Laughter

#WickedWednesday Prompt #365 – Laughter This Shirley temple giggle gif is probably the one I’m known for using most frequently – when I’ve genuinely giggled with a tweet thread. Extract: During a laugh, respiration, heart rate and blood pressure temporarily rise. This causes oxygen to surge through the bloodstream that then results in lower blood pressure. Laughter improves… Read More »

SwirlingFire: The Request

The Request I’ve never made a secret of my introduction into the depraved and darkly delicious addictive ways of a malevolent dom of shady intentions.  I think I’ve written more than thirty blogs about the ways I was manipulated and coerced into a non-consensual D/s “affair” – which, upon reflection can be termed as “CNC”. I’m using this… Read More »

New Role #SB4MH

Some of you may have seen that I am a new member of the team at Sex Bloggers for Mental Health.  Thank you @SassyCat3000 and @May_Matters for inviting me onto the team.

SwirlingFire: Ignite

Ignite Emotional abusers within the BDSM community are moving amongst us. They’re well known yet continue to “operate” shielded by sycophants.  Often known as an “enabler” DM conversations have repeated the same names.  Over and over again.  Some of my online experiences (I’ll take 50%) have been through misunderstandings. Mine and theirs. I don’t give offence, it’s taken. If I’ve… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Gaslighting & Ghosting

Gaslighting & Ghosting 7 Stages of Gaslighting in a Relationship The term originates from the Film ‘Fanny by Gaslight’ – A charming and handsome man with a dastardly past exploits his knowledge of her family history to manipulate an innocent young woman. 

SwirlingFire: Clique Bait

  Clique Bait I’ve been thinking about the way I express myself quite a lot lately.  Especially in the speedy way that Twitter makes my mind race too fast.  I’ve mentioned in the past that what passes for my extremely dry/gallows/friendly sarcasm in real life is greatly skewed in typed form.  Intonation, giggle, smiles and reciprocated put downs… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Reflections Part 2 – Exposed

Reflections Part 2 – Exposed Married lovers ? Non Consensual non monogamous relationships Poly with  multiple partners that other partners  don’t know you’re Involved with but really should? Untreated STI Lying about sexual health Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase) Non disclosure of marital status long distance… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Reflection

  Reflection   When we, okay I, think of blogging, I always think of the romantic frothy persona created by Carrie Bradshaw – the lead character from ‘sex and the City’ all those years ago.  The truth is my life is nothing like hers apart from one (two if you count luxury footwear) major similarity. We both make… Read More »

It’s Just Banter, Isn’t It?

Content / Trigger Warning Sexual Harassment Rape Male victims This piece goes outside my usual themes.  Over the years I’ve heard a lot in public and in confidence about the struggles and consequences of women with male behaviour ranging from the unthinking harassment of ‘banter’ to full on sexual, physical and mental aggression. My sympathy, empathy and support… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Circle of Flames

  Circle of Flames   Something has been playing on my mind for quite some time. Boundaries. I realise I’ve never had many or as I’m beginning to accept – any. On early arrival onto Twitter somebody during the course of a DM conversation used the term ‘people pleaser’.  The descriptions certainly echoed many things I was doing… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Silent Scream

Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon.  As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me.  Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually very good at… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Toxic Masculinity

  Toxic Masculinity At times I’m told I’m too honest for my own good. In the workplace, mainly men led, I’m strong, capable and a ‘feisty little thing’. Although not always welcomed positively, my direction brings rapid results and successful conclusions. “Not bad for a girl. Well done !”     Swirlingfire: A Posting History @Swirlingfire, 30 March… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Pyrric Victory

200 Days No Contact I’m surprised that I’ve managed to get to a landmark number of zero contact with the mindWizard. It’s been really difficult to not turn to him regularly when I needed to talk about my mental health – ironically the issues he caused with his Narcissist ways. For those of you struggling not to text… Read More »