The other weekend was a trip to Glyndebourne with the former mistress. As well as lots of good food, the Glyndebourne experience (the opera was hit and miss, but this post isn’t a review) and too much alcohol late in to the nights, it was also a time for deep conversation.
I must admit that this is an unusual relationship. She will never be involved in D/s again, will never be anything other than friends with some deep past experiences. These conversations seem to help her more than the therapy she’s been in for the last 3 years. Perhaps because the therapy encourages her to talk, I find that there’s nothing she needs to hide from me now, unlike when I was her sub and she kept her understanding and manipulation of my sub needs a domme trade secret.
It’s very odd to have such explicit conversations without the slightest overtone nor embarrassment. It’s also very wonderful to have a ‘best friend’ like this. Our conversations can pick up after weeks or months as if there’s been no time in between.
A question I’ve had from even before I knew her is a potentially self-destructive one of what do I bring to a relationship ? What does someone, especially a domme get from it ? It’s possible to consider those as separate questions depending on the relationship.
Conversations with her have been my first real experience of dealing with some very deep answers to those questions. The openness and honesty in both directions removing any fear of the answers – whatever they are to be.
By the time I dropped her off back home after 3 days a piece from a favourite book was prominent in my mind. This quote comes from Frank Herbert’s, The Dosadi Experiment and rather closely captures several things I took away from this wonderful weekend.