SwirlingFire: 2019 The Year of Self Discovery

By | December 31, 2019
Reading Time: 4 minutes


2019 The Year of Self Discovery

I wasn’t going to do any year summary round up, I now feel a bit guilty for not making a list.

I’ve recently posted #SwirlyApprovedList and also my top ten most read blogs.  Reading many other end of year blogs, I feel I’ve been hasty and ungrateful.  Which was never the intention.

I know the feeling of exclusion more acutely than inclusion

There have been many names that have helped push me to where I am today.  Several have disappeared / ghosted.  Social media life cycles run their course.  People move on.  I’m really sorry if I’ve missed anyone out.  I’m basing my “Thankyous” on the last six months interactions

It seems I’m slipping back towards “numb” and that’s the easiest bad self protect mode I ever learned.  To survive mostly physically intact.

The majority of lists by others are now complete so I don’t feel as though I’m begging for inclusion.

I’ve never fake praised.  It’s not a trick I feel comfortable with.  I’m not referencing the regular day to day stuff.  The Good white lies.  It’s difficult to navigate life without having learned “office politics”, to my detriment at times. 

Perhaps, because I learned how to protect myself from revealing information at a very young age I learned ‘safety follows silence’.  This was my major unravelling in the last few years.  Putting information in writing is the antithesis of my upbringing and young adulthood.

I’d like to thank the following people, all have played a part in my life throughout 2019.

In no particular order:

@sub_talk – who supports and understands many targets of #NPD 

Discarded Entity – the ability to keep moving forwards after a very difficult year 

Andy and Emp two unconnected accounts, both REAL Gentlemen.

MPB jules – an amazing woman that puts many of us to shame 

Francesca Demont – a fascinating woman that intrigues me.  I love her stories and real life experiences.  A tiny girl crush.

#F4T, #WickedWednesday #TellMeAbout meme sites – when I first found these prompt sites, it was such a lifeline for me.  And #sb4mh – which has saved me from total self destruct.

Thankyou for all your hard work collating and administrative dedication to the kink community. I’ve never belonged anywhere. Now I can learn from real people.

Sex blog of sorts – the first blog I followed a few years ago, inspired my writing.  My first girlie crush with her honesty, passion and drive.  Account Currently on hiatus.  I wish she could see this right now (if anyone has her RL info, please let her know)

M1ch33lle #M1HOL – funny, engaging, dry humour.  Usually going on holiday or already there flashing her tummy button ,)

Violet Fenn – educated, sassy, feisty with a menagerie of animals and a professional writer.  I’d like to be like her when I grow up. She can keep Nick Cave ,)

The following three names, I cant even begin to detail, at least, not in public.  They are possibly the only people that understand and speak “fluent Swirly”

Bunny – for her stunning line drawings that illustrate my blogs and her support when I didn’t even recognise I needed it

Sissymaidmelody– my long suffering Editor, without whom I wouldn’t be writing as regularly.  For Her constant patience with my blogs written in doc on a mobile phone and bringing my words to life in a clear format and so much more.  Too much to detail.  Melody knows

The Splinter Cat – a very often misunderstood woman.  A powerhouse of strength through adversity.  Too many dismiss her raw honesty and straight talking as being difficult and spiky.  For those that never took the time – you’ve missed out on a rare carbon life form.  A true diamond that genuinely saved me Xmas Day 2017. 

The decade from 2010 had seen massive life changes for me in the arenas of full time career, my introduction to BDSM and everything that followed, my physical and mental health and actively working on both, #Mothership.

I’m not sure what the next decade will throw at me.  Let’s be honest, I’ve been through more than most people in a whole lifetime.  It’s not a challenge to the Universe but hey, I’ve been thrown some horrors.  I’m learning to survive and ultimately thrive.

May you all experience a healthy, life enriching and positive 2020

Swirly 🌻

Swirlingfire: A Posting History

@SwirlingFire 31 December 2019




Kinkly Top 100 Blogger Badge  KW 2019 Naughty List
SwirlyApproved-01-3831324468-1577353192240.jpg     F4TChef

7 thoughts on “SwirlingFire: 2019 The Year of Self Discovery

  1. eye

    I am finding the F4TFriday meme very helpful in organising my thoughts.
    I hope 2020 brings you more of what makes you happy Swirly.

  2. May

    Thanks for the F4T mention Swirly – I do like lists as it helps other find their way to good content and that is important in a blogging community x

  3. Sweetgirl

    Lists can be a good vs bad thing. I’m sure you will have seen my post on giving thanks where I gave myself a good thrashing for behaving like a spoiled child…. anyway it can feel like a very negative thing when you feel you haven’t been seen or acknowledged… but ultimately we can’t shout out to every single blog we read…. just those who have stood out or we remember in that moment.

    I appreciate very much you mentioning me, and I look forward to reading more of your work next year.

    Have a wonderful new year celebration and I hope to see more of you in 2020

    Sweetgirl x

    1. swirling🔥fire

      I’ve always been a list maker for everything except people. I’ve always kept them at arms length.

      Wishing you a Happy and healthy 2020

      1. Sweetgirl

        it’s understandable, people can let you down. Or more to the point, people DO let you down 🙂

  4. Julie

    Great post and thank you for thinking I’m better than I am. Looking forward to reading more of your great writing in 2020 and interacting on Twitter. Happy New Year xx

    1. swirling🔥fire

      I think I can categorically state that generally, none of us see the positives in ourselves that others see in us. To a degree, its possibly a good thing. There are enough arrogant and non self aware people about.

      Wishing you and your husband a Happy New Year full of joy, happiness and an abundance of future good health
      Swirly 🌻😘


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