2019 The Year of Self Discovery
I wasn’t going to do any year summary round up, I now feel a bit guilty for not making a list.
I’ve recently posted #SwirlyApprovedList and also my top ten most read blogs. Reading many other end of year blogs, I feel I’ve been hasty and ungrateful. Which was never the intention.
I know the feeling of exclusion more acutely than inclusion
There have been many names that have helped push me to where I am today. Several have disappeared / ghosted. Social media life cycles run their course. People move on. I’m really sorry if I’ve missed anyone out. I’m basing my “Thankyous” on the last six months interactions
It seems I’m slipping back towards “numb” and that’s the easiest bad self protect mode I ever learned. To survive mostly physically intact.
The majority of lists by others are now complete so I don’t feel as though I’m begging for inclusion.
I’ve never fake praised. It’s not a trick I feel comfortable with. I’m not referencing the regular day to day stuff. The Good white lies. It’s difficult to navigate life without having learned “office politics”, to my detriment at times.
Perhaps, because I learned how to protect myself from revealing information at a very young age I learned ‘safety follows silence’. This was my major unravelling in the last few years. Putting information in writing is the antithesis of my upbringing and young adulthood.
I’d like to thank the following people, all have played a part in my life throughout 2019.
In no particular order:
@sub_talk – who supports and understands many targets of #NPD
Discarded Entity – the ability to keep moving forwards after a very difficult year
MPB jules – an amazing woman that puts many of us to shame
Francesca Demont – a fascinating woman that intrigues me. I love her stories and real life experiences. A tiny girl crush.
Thankyou for all your hard work collating and administrative dedication to the kink community. I’ve never belonged anywhere. Now I can learn from real people.
Sex blog of sorts – the first blog I followed a few years ago, inspired my writing. My first girlie crush with her honesty, passion and drive. Account Currently on hiatus. I wish she could see this right now (if anyone has her RL info, please let her know)
M1ch33lle #M1HOL – funny, engaging, dry humour. Usually going on holiday or already there flashing her tummy button ,)
Violet Fenn – educated, sassy, feisty with a menagerie of animals and a professional writer. I’d like to be like her when I grow up. She can keep Nick Cave ,)
The following three names, I cant even begin to detail, at least, not in public. They are possibly the only people that understand and speak “fluent Swirly”
Bunny – for her stunning line drawings that illustrate my blogs and her support when I didn’t even recognise I needed it
Sissymaidmelody– my long suffering Editor, without whom I wouldn’t be writing as regularly. For Her constant patience with my blogs written in doc on a mobile phone and bringing my words to life in a clear format and so much more. Too much to detail. Melody knows
The Splinter Cat – a very often misunderstood woman. A powerhouse of strength through adversity. Too many dismiss her raw honesty and straight talking as being difficult and spiky. For those that never took the time – you’ve missed out on a rare carbon life form. A true diamond that genuinely saved me Xmas Day 2017.
The decade from 2010 had seen massive life changes for me in the arenas of full time career, my introduction to BDSM and everything that followed, my physical and mental health and actively working on both, #Mothership.
I’m not sure what the next decade will throw at me. Let’s be honest, I’ve been through more than most people in a whole lifetime. It’s not a challenge to the Universe but hey, I’ve been thrown some horrors. I’m learning to survive and ultimately thrive.
May you all experience a healthy, life enriching and positive 2020
@SwirlingFire 31 December 2019