SwirlingFire: Reflections Part 2 – Exposed

Reflections Part 2 – Exposed

Married lovers ?

Non Consensual non monogamous relationships

Poly with  multiple partners that other partners  don’t know you’re Involved with but really should?

Untreated STI

Lying about sexual health

Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase)

Non disclosure of marital status
long distance relationships?

DM slides without partners knowing

Sending nudes/dick pics without consent

Blaming others for self inflicted sexual indiscretions

Cheating on a spouse as they don’t know/unable to support  a change of sexual discovery / yearnings?

Don’t  like certain people in your circle of friends ?

Family driving you to distraction?

All external situations all chosen mostly with free will ?

All a conscious decision to proceed and continue on our merry little way until fate or other people get in the crossfire of finding the truth and burst our seemingly perfect bubbles ?

I read about all these life choices, that daily list life experiences all the time.  I’m not judging, condoning or shaming anybody, anywhere.  It’s purely observational, whilst regularly scrolling my timeline.  If you’re like me and observe people and their phrasing, it’s all there.  Like a huge Fresnel lens with a pretty coloured film.  You think you’ve covered your tracks but you shine like a bright flare.  Maybe it’s my curse, not a gift, to see in others ?  The irony is that a few years ago I lost my ability to see these ‘characters’ in my own circles or exchanges.

With social media we break down the barriers.  We chat to whom appears at face value, to be great people full of personality and good spirit.  Kind and caring, offering support guidance and the benefit of their life experiences.  We can say things our real life companions never know or could never understand.

Is this all our own new accepted stasis?

A self-induced, socially acceptable way of expressing our joy and our suffering ?

I for one have not had the courage to share my worst thoughts and experiences for a multitude of reasons to people I know in real life – yet I’ve been judged harshly by “perfect “ strangers – that have proved to be very unpleasant people.  The majority just haven’t seen their true colours and personality, yet.

We made our beds and now we must lay in them ?

For better or worse

Free expression.

Free will.

Sexual expression.

Or is it ?

Is it really ?

I’m not sure where I fit in with anybody anymore.  I’ve never been a blind follower of groups to curry favour with all the different cliques life puts in our way.  Agree and massage egos or be honest and truthful and get punished for it.  If you’re part of an ‘In Crowd’ does that make one better or worse than others ?  Bravery behind a group is still a bully tactic to then run away and play victim when you’ve overstepped the mark.  Allowing others to shield / hide and the truth is distasteful.  We play victim all too easily.  It takes a strong person to admit publicly when they’ve made a mistake or to apologise.

AND mean it.

I didn’t think it was so difficult for others to do.  Apparently it is. I feel ashamed when I’ve messed up.  I will try my best, if allowed, to explain myself.  Apparently this is not normal behaviour ?  Who knew ?

We make our decisions based on our own personal happiness and at times, it’s a selfish reason of instant gratification.

Swirlingfire: A Posting History

@Swirlingfire, 17 April 2019

End note:

This piece of writing was started in October 2018 and had been in my draft folder ever since.  I’d read it from time to time.  The first draft was extremely raw, painful and private.

Through the hindsight of time and the wealth of lifestyles experienced and documented by bloggers, I was able to put clarity to this piece and more thoughtfully elaborate upon my original machine gun fire short journal entry.

Written for the #WickedWednesday meme of “Elaborate”.  Why not go check out the other posts by clicking on the button.

Written for the #sb4mh meme of “Open”. Why not go check out other posts by clicking on the button.