SwirlingFire: The Sadist and the Fawn
The majority of my writing is a creative outlet to process sexual assault / trauma resulting from suppressing #Rape within an uninformed non consensual d/s mentoring “dynamic”.
The following piece of prose is a fresh visit as new memories surface and the anniversary to “first scent of fear” approaches – please exercise caution with this piece and the subject matter.
The Sadist and the Fawn
I am the calm before the storm
the breeze that lifts your drapes
The Silent hush – impending doom
The knifeless non-violent rape
his scented breath
a questionable wrench
One’s mind slips out of gear,
The man you thought was
quite ” the Gent ”
Today,
She’s filled with fear
I am the swirl of moments lost
The words that went unsaid
The leather collar,
attached by chain
Tethered to A Rapists bed.
The Beast sleeps without conscience
It’s her fault
She’s the one he blames.
Wracked with fear and nausea
What the hell caused that?
The gentle touch to halt his hand
Sent his temper
Swirling like a flailing cricket bat
Pinned to the spot in terror
his heat
Too late.
Impaled
YOU
made him behave like that !!!
It’s not easy to run
When your feet are weighted lead
Will the next one be left for dead ?
You really were a silly girl
And not the first time,
Really ?
Ewwww !
You were Asking for it !!
You know
it’s TRUE!
How do you learn to live
When horror leaves its mark ?
Push it down
Don’t think
Don’t speak
Never mention this again
You shouldn’t have
changed your mind,
he won’t accept
NO
he only wants his
YES
She can’t deny his hefty frame
he is too big To fight him off,
When screaming PhuqueOff.
It’s always the same old story
his career is on the Rise
They’ll never hear the truth you speak
Premeditation
he pre-paved her path with lies
The Gaslight and the Glow
The never changing games
the older man
the younger girl
You Idiot
You’re to blame.
Restrained on his bench
Leather tightly binds
don’t bother discussing consent,
he won’t listen to your cries
Your tears of fear
will push him on
The Sadist and The Fawn
Ripping trust right from her core
Not long now sweetie,
Daddy’s Almost done.
Her mind floating free
Disassociation in full gear
Disrespected
stupid bitches
Under his spell
his sovereign rite
to start again.
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
Many compliments to share
Ever increasing numbers
Such easy bait
Lining them up
To destroy
he never has to wait
#365Words
@Swirlingfire, 17 August 2020
Wicked Wednesday 500 – Swirling.Fire
December 29, 2021 @ 1:04 pm
[…] blog 104 The Sadist and the Fawn https://melodyinsights.com/swirlingfire-the-sadist-and-the-fawn/ […]
October 31, 2020 @ 3:14 pm
Swirly I really didn’t know about this I’m so sorry I read it and read it again and it made my sick to the core. I just don’t know how someone could behave in such a way.
October 31, 2020 @ 6:35 pm
Thankyou E
I thank my lucky stars that I chat with people that have never been faced with the knowledge (either personally or within family /friends ) of bullies, sadists and nasty old trout women
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
Best Wishes
Swirly 🌻
Haunted RoundUp ~ Spotlight #160 - 4 THOUGHTS or FICTION
October 31, 2020 @ 10:54 am
[…] READ MORE […]
October 28, 2020 @ 12:46 pm
This definitely struck home with me too:
The man you thought was
quite ” the Gent ”
Today,
She’s filled with fear
These kind of people, these ‘gents’ have the same MO with everyone they use and abuse. Like I said many times before, I am sorry you went through this, Swirly, and I hope each time you write about it, it makes you feel stronger. Thank you for sharing.
~ Marie xox
October 28, 2020 @ 4:08 pm
Thankyou Rebel for acknowledging me and not, as others have, mocked me for surviving and questioning others Kink to learn.
There are so many vindictive, judgmental yet cowardly folk that have life privileges beyond the realm of ever understanding who i/we are.
My anger ebbs and flows.
I deal with facts not their fictious ,never lived made up fantasy lives.
Stay well
Stay Safe
Swirly 🌻
October 27, 2020 @ 7:40 am
The part that really hit home was
‘The man you thought was
quite ” the Gent ”
Today,
She’s filled with fear’
“But he was such a nice guy,” they say, but fail to realize it was just a front. Behind closed doors, he became a monster and you’re just the girl too scared to fight harder so he once again gets his way.
Thank you for sharing your words. Sorry that you had to experience this. Know that you’re not alone. If only it didn’t leave such a haunting mark.
October 27, 2020 @ 11:01 am
“That’s so true. All the usual responses to assault. Blame and shame the survivor – Unless the “non consensual breath play” killed her. Then the narrative will blame the victim in different ways.
Your last comment is spot on
If only it didn’t leave such a haunting mark”
💗
October 24, 2020 @ 5:17 pm
Oh my…I definitely get the emotion there, the anger comes through. Writing can be cathartic, and I hope writing this allowed you to release a bit of the weight.
October 27, 2020 @ 10:56 am
The anger does surface in waves, you’re correct. I have to work really hard to keep the emotion off my Twitter TL.
October 24, 2020 @ 4:01 pm
Oh Swirly – great prose – it is your honesty that brings such clarity and power to your poems. I love the pattern of the verses too
May x
October 27, 2020 @ 10:54 am
It still surprises me, the little bits of information that push their way to the surface. The fear blocked details.
I’m glad you like the style🤗
October 24, 2020 @ 11:02 am
Chilling. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Swirly. 🌷
October 27, 2020 @ 10:49 am
Thank You xx
The memories come and go. It’s a longterm healing💗