[F4Thought] Holidays
Holidays have rarely had any importance to me. I spent a couple of decades travelling for business and when you do that, the last thing you want to do with time off is spend it in airports and hotels. A holiday was a day or two spent doing relaxing at home.
Even now I tend to only take a day or two at a time, usually for time with my domme.
For a long time my type of holiday tended to be one where I have taken a break from the daily grind to have a holiday from my male career-oriented self. Fortunately, that male doesn’t exist any more, so I’m remembering the days in the mid-2000’s when I still rigourously policed who I was. The days when I thought that reluctantly letting out the person who needed to dress put me in the CD/TV bracket where I could let out the steam with a bit of ‘sissy’ roleplay. How little I knew back then.
It brings to mind what is perhaps the most unusual of these short ‘holidays’ of them all.
Content Notice: Consensual Kidnap
There had been a falling out with my mistress and it looked as if that was all over. After a couple of months I had a need to do something to have a holiday from those breakup blues. At which point I came across someone on the old CollarMe site advertising kidnap scenarios.
After a bit of research to prove she was reputable and reliable I started a conversation. The arrangement became one for a full 24 hour kidnap scenario. She was located in an end of the line seaside town in the north-west. Back when I was working in the mill in my teens, this town was one of the traditional destinations for the mill workers during the two week summer shutdown.
The setup and snatch was quite well done, probably it had been practised quite a bit. The pretext was that I was travelling up there for a job interview. Getting off the train at what was barely more than a siding there was a well dressed chap holding up a sign with my name on it inviting me to get into a nice car to be driven to meet his boss.
You know this is roleplay, that the domme involved is safe and reputable, there have been conversations about safety and yet it’s still a leap of faith to hand over the case to the chauffeur and get in the car – on the other hand, this was my holiday, my treat to my self and its sore soul.
We drove around for a bit and it was explained that to keep the meeting/interview secret that we’d meet his boss somewhere out of the way and I’d transfer to her car. We pulled up to a bit of open ground outside the town and I was shown to a small red car that was in dilapidated contrast to the other one and as I settled into the passenger seat a blindfold was thrown over me and then cable ties around my wrists and foam earplugs inserted.
This is where the safety of roleplay contrasts to real life terror. You know you’re safe, you know that if the other person is skilled they will make you have doubts and above all you know you only have a fixed time for this to play out and you know that you can back out at any time.
Somewhat disoriented from this takedown I was then chained to the seat and made to duck down before she went haring off like a car chase scene in the movies with just a curt explanation of it being a precaution in case we were being followed.
I know talking to my domme and others that they have a massive rush of adrenaline when doing a kidnap takedown. This domme was driving on the full effects of that rush.
At our destination I was led into a house and down some steep stairs to a cellar basement where the blindfold and restraints were removed to find myself in a dungeon and commanded to strip.
The game to be played out was that she was an agent for a rival company determined to extract secret information for industrial espionage.
The first few hours were alone, naked in a dark cell with loud music playing for disorientation. I learned a few tricks there about coping with disorientation and keeping track of time that I regret years later when it came to the brainwashing sessions with my current domme. It took me a long time to unlearn those things and suspend the need to retain agency over the situation.
The next 24 hours were punctuated by ‘torture’, either physical or psychological pressure. Late at night she had me dress in a skirt and blouse before taking me out to her car. Parked up outside an all night store I was given a pound coin and told to go inside and buy a magazine. Pushed out of the car it was the one time that I truly cracked. Today I wouldn’t think much to it. Back then it hit every nerve about exposure, my dressing was a secret and being exposed in public was a terrifying concept.
I wimped out of that, so she drove me to a deserted cemetery and tied me to a tree draped in sharp holly. All I can really recall was how cold it was to be left there in the wind.
These two scenes were the most realistically scary of the whole time.
Back in the dungeon there was a greater feeling of safety that probably took the edge off the whole experience if one was looking for fear and danger – as many are wont to do.
I can remember the ‘torture’ session as she plucked out some 300 pubic hairs. I’m not sure if I was supposed to have found it as cathartic and enjoyable as I did.
Our time was almost up when she decided to fill up what was left with some rope bondage. I was tied to a chair in one of the dungeon spaces and liberally adorned with ropes before she left me to it.
The bondage wasn’t terribly well done, I soon found myself with plenty of wiggle room and was determined to have a bit of fun. You could say that I was determined to have the last word. Not only did I get out of the ropes, I properly hanked them all in a tidy pile. I was just about to get dressed when she came back down to the dungeon. The surprised look on her face was all I could have hoped for.
And with that, she drove me back to the station and my most unusual little holiday was almost over with enough memories to last all this time.
May 25, 2020 @ 9:54 am
Thank you for sharing melody, pushing the boundaries, brave as ever. It was a fascinating read – a huge step away from my own personal preferences which is what makes it so interesting and you describe it with such clarity and humour. Getting out of the ropes like that (if only you’d got your day clothes back on also) was truly your mic drop moment!
May 25, 2020 @ 12:43 pm
Having not blogged for a while I was quite pleased with the way this one turned out. It’s an unusual topic for most of my readers so I wanted to give a flavour. As for the ropes, it’s a subtle way of being a brat 😂
🌹🌹
May 25, 2020 @ 9:40 am
I love the way you have used your mini holiday to fulfil a fantasy.
Did you find you had any difficulties transitioning back to “normal”? Takedown, kidnap and extended torture scenes are on my long list of fantasies, but I’ve heard stories about the after effects which need extra care and attention. I’m just curious about your experience there. N x
May 25, 2020 @ 12:22 pm
A very good question for which there is a mixed answer. In being an opera goer I had learned how to suppress any immediate emotional drop until however long it took to get home. In this case several hours on the train. I don’t recall any noticeable drop once I was in a safe place to recover. However, in that time of my life I was pretty dispassionate with everything locked tight.
With my current domme I’ve learned to let go and as a result can experience quite pronounced drop in the days following a session.
The duty of care with these things is that they make sure you’re in a fit condition to leave the premises. How you deal with later care needs is up to you. For me that now means being as gentle on myself as possible and as much sleep as I can manage when in the past I completely ignored such things and would have considered them as being ‘weak’.
Thank you for great comment 🌹🌹
May 25, 2020 @ 1:09 pm
I have a pretty good routine for managing the after effects of play, intense or otherwise. It is only generally new and intense situations that aren’t on my radar as “emotionally risky” which bring about drop now, but I think planning the post scene care would, for me, be as important as the scene plan.
This scenario is a long-standing fantasy for me, but an area to proceed with caution. Especially now that I am well and engage with my emotions rather than put them in a box.
A fellow opera lover? I find the emotional rollercoaster such a joy, even when I have no idea what the word mean. My first was The Elixir of Love, an English one. I saw it 20 years ago now and loved it so much. La Bohéme always makes me sob.
May 25, 2020 @ 2:28 pm
Where I am at now my domme always pushes close to the limits. It’s very much a given that I will be emotionally drained from it and need to be gentle with myself in subsequent days. When I look back, no one previously took me to those draining limits and I was able to contain it. It used to be handled very much the same as coming home from a draining opera – a few hours reflection and not much more. As much as I would now wish otherwise, I was largely in control during that kidnap session. You might say that was the old me determined to be macho with stiff upper lip. Also, she didn’t know me and was suitably cautious in how much she pushed.
I hesitate to recommend any form of CNC scene. I think that by and large the reality will have trouble matching the fantasy, especially when the fantasy includes indefinite coercion and fear. The closer one gets to re-creating that will determine how personally risky it will be.
La Boheme never used to get to me until I understood the Coat Aria where Colline is about to pawn his coat to get money for medicine for Mimi. Now it will have me in bits. As does the ending of Rigoletto. And to have me, along with everyone else bawling, Dialogue des Carmalites is hard to beat. I’d been looking forward to that at Glyndebourne this year – ho hum.
May 25, 2020 @ 5:14 pm
I’m with you, I think CNC has to be entered into carefully. Interesting that I have been mulling over possibilities in this area again for a few days and your post is here. The universe is trying to tell me something.
Hopefully the opera will go on and we can indulge once more, just need to be patient.
I’m glad you have a Domme who makes your space safe enough to push you hard.
May 23, 2020 @ 9:06 am
Yes yes yes! This is the holiday I would opt for too. I get how if you’re traveling for work, you’d want your actual holiday to just be at home. I hadn’t realised exactly just how much I appreciate your kinks. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. And it’s very relatable to me how the having to go into the shop like that would’ve been the most terrifying thing! Which probably isn’t a surprise. Thanks for sharing this unusual holiday
May 23, 2020 @ 10:22 am
Hi Marie-Louise, obviously I didn’t recount every interlude of the 24 hours, there was one that I think you’d have particularly liked which was a long session of nipple torture.
At the time, the shop scene was terrifying because she was threatening to drive off and leave me – the logical side says that’s not going to happen ‘duty of care’ etc, the irrational emotional side keeps getting louder as it asks ‘what if ?’
🌹🌹
May 23, 2020 @ 3:20 pm
Yes, I can imagine that might have made a really long post! But I also find that sometimes it’s nice not recounting everything and just keeping it in your head as your memory. I would have certainly enjoyed reading about the nipple torture part! Damn you for keeping things from us 😛
Oh man, I can imagine. I feel like I would have collapsed in a crying puddle in that situation. I think I would have 100% believed she would’ve left me. How to break ML 101.
x
May 23, 2020 @ 3:52 pm
Of course I have to tease and keep some things back 😂
Ah, the day my domme induces tears will probably be a very long post.
May 23, 2020 @ 3:56 pm
Haha 😂
Long posts can be quite nice!
May 23, 2020 @ 1:32 am
Definitely an impressionable holiday! I love reading about CNC but in reality I don’t think I could do it. The ending was the best as I could see a smug look on your face, like you were saying “Next!” 😂
May 23, 2020 @ 10:14 am
Thank you, Jae. CNC touches buttons on a lot of people. It can be done safely though how much that takes away the edge of fear that is often a major part of the fantasy is down to the individual. I’m not sure I saw it as CNC back then, just something I needed to explore.
I still wish I’d had 5 minutes more at the end to have got dressed in suit and tie before she came to see how I was doing 😂🌹
May 22, 2020 @ 6:09 pm
Wow, what an experience, what a memory! I can totally imagine that there were scary moments too amongst the fun ones. Love how it ended, with you getting out of the ropes 🙂
~ Marie
May 22, 2020 @ 6:26 pm
I’ve always wondered how a long established domme could be so poor at rope work 😂🌹
May 22, 2020 @ 5:01 pm
Wow ….. unbelievably brave!
May 22, 2020 @ 5:15 pm
Given her reputation as a domme it was relatively low risk. It was something I just had to do at the time 🌹🌹
May 22, 2020 @ 5:25 pm
I still think its brave lol
May 22, 2020 @ 4:45 pm
That was quite the adventure….
May 22, 2020 @ 4:44 pm
Oh my goodness I found this utterly fascinating! I think I want a role play kidnapping too. I can imagine when you were suddenly blindfolded in the car it must have seemed like it was VERY real.
Thanks for sharing this – loved reading it
May x
May 22, 2020 @ 4:59 pm
I’ve never been very good at immersing in roleplay because I know it’s not real and can’t suspend belief. Yet, the way she did that was about as real as it could get, enough to set off nagging doubts about safety.
This is one of those subjects about which a lot of people have CNC fantasies. The odd thing is that the more you know and trust someone to do it, the less real it might feel. I’ve talked about this experience with my domme who does relish kidnap and interrogation. She can immerse herself to the extent of terrifying a subject. And yet, I know her too well for it to be real to me if we tried it.
Safety comes first. Beyond that I think the experience boils down to how much you can suspend your reality and immerse in the moment.
Thanks May 🌹🌹