This page is provided as a single place to find the posts of @Swirlingfire

Content / Trigger Warning

SwirlingFire writes with a sometimes brutal honesty about her experiences of trauma and abuse in D/s and other relationships.  Where appropriate additional content/trigger warnings are placed in each post.

This is a must read set of posts for anyone coping with narcissistic, controlling abusers.


  1. A Guest Writer – Meet Swirlingfire
  2. SwirlingFire: Who am I ? Who are YOU ?
  3. SwirlingFire: Empty On The Inside …
  4. SwirlingFire: Reality Kicks In
  5. SwirlingFire: Sink or Swim
  6. SwirlingFire: Fortitude
  7. SwirlingFire: Swirling Reflections
  8. SwirlingFire: Friendships
  9. SwirlingFire: The First Scent of Fear
  10. SwirlingFire: Voice Control
  11. SwirlingFire: Writing
  12. SwirlingFire: Verbal Self-Defence
  13. SwirlingFire: Eggshells
  14. SwirlingFire: Whose Collar Is This ?
  15. SwirlingFire: The Hour Glass
  16. SwirlingFire: Kintsugi
  17. SwirlingFire: Coffee and WiFi
  18. SwirlingFire: Truth and Respect
  19. SwirlingFire: #Blocked
  20. SwirlingFire: Common Denominator
  21. SwirlingFire: An Uncomfortable Path ….
  22. SwirlingFire: (Don’t) Come for Daddy
  23. SwirlingFire: Twitter Changed My Life
  24. SwirlingFire: Overshare
  25. SwirlingFire: Good Girl
  26. SwirlingFire: Vesuvius
  27. SwirlingFire: Hey Swirly …. Read This !
  28. SwirlingFire: Pyrrhic Victory
  29. https://melodyinsights.com/swirlingfire-burn/
  30. SwirlingFire: Mentor
  31. SwirlingFire: Toxic Masculinity
  32. SwirlingFire: Silent Scream
  33. SwirlingFire: Circle of Flames
  34. SwirlingFire: Reflection
  35. SwirlingFire: Glowing Embers
  36. SwirlingFire: Reflections Part 2 – Exposed
  37. SwirlingFire: Clique Bait
  38. SwirlingFire: Gaslighting & Ghosting
  39. SwirlingFire: Ignite
  40. SwirlingFire: The Request
  41. SwirlingFire: Laughter
  42. SwirlingFire: Laughter, Tears, Twisted Thoughts and Fears
  43. SwirlingFire: Judgemental vs Moral Compass
  44. SwirlingFire: Survive: Parts 1 & 2
  45. SwirlingFire: It’s Definitely YOUR Fault
  46. SwirlingFire: Betrayal
  47. SwirlingFire: Crazy
  48. SwirlingFire: Hanging in the Balance
  49. SwirlingFire: The Path To Enlightenment
  50. SwirlingFire: Selfie or Selfish
  51. SwirlingFire: Swirly’s Grand Day Out
  52. SwirlingFire: Mirage
  53. SwirlingFire: Overshare (#sb4mh repost)
  54. SwirlingFire: Light in the Dark
  55. SwirlingFire: Colour Me Stupid
  56. SwirlingFire: The Hero Is The Villian
  57. SwirlingFire: You’re Worthless So I Subtweet
  58. SwirlingFire: Rituals and Memories
  59. SwirlingFire: The “Why?” Of blogging
  60. SwirlingFire: The Core
  61. SwirlingFire: #365Words for #365Days
  62. SwirlingFire: The Assessment


melody ‘the editor’ writes:

I first noticed SwirlingFire as a shout of rage in to the Twitter void.  Easy to ignore as a crank and part of the rage was seemingly powered by people regarding her exactly as that.

What I recognised was words and other things that were similar to what I’d encountered with a few close friends as they went through therapy and struggled to deal with the past.  I also recognised the pool of humour and intelligence behind the anger.

I claim no primacy here, no special insight that meant we found ourselves talking.  As John Lydon sang “Anger is an energy”.  It can be really useful when directed for a positive outcome, I’ve used it myself.

As we talked, two things struck me.  Firstly, for someone so hurt she made a leap of faith to place a lot of trust in me.  I know I would not have been able to do the same.  The second thing was that empathy ran strongly in both directions at many levels.

Inadvertently I’d gained a friend.

To provide a space here so she could lay out her thoughts, say whatever she needed to say was a no-brainer.  I’m really happy to see these posts here and that the reaction to them has been so strong and supportive.

See also There’s Room for Two: Sharing with SwirlingFire

SwirlingFire adds her own perspective

I’d not learnt to use my voice when SwirlingFire arrived on Twitter.

I’d become a passive mute when it mattered.

When I started to speak it was a lava flow of frustration, hurt, anger, sadness, self realisation, unknown grief and too many memories of trauma returning too fast to process.

No safe place to figure things out.

Strangers mansplaining & accusing me of all kinds of negative traits that were not addressed specifically @ them but choosing to attack me from behind their keyboards.

melody seemed to understand my words from first finding me , where others were nasty towards me.

This is my safe place.

I appreciate everyone that takes time to read my words and even more so thank you to those that leave their “calling card” and feedback.

Most of all
melody – thank you for saving me from being systematically savaged by the timelines

Swirly 🌻


7 thoughts on “Swirlingfire

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  2. Pingback: SwirlingFire: Colour Me Stupid – Insights and Ramblings of melody

  3. Pingback: SwirlingFire: Light in the Dark – Insights and Ramblings of melody

  4. Pingback: June 2019 ~ Blogging Summary & #SoSS - Sex Matters ~ by May More

  5. Pingback: SwirlingFire: Twitter Changed My Life … – Insights and Ramblings of melody

  6. SwirlingFire

    I’m very grateful you understand the language of #Swirly. It’s not often I find the ability to speak. Thankyou for hosting my words 🌻

  7. Pingback: There’s Room for Two: Sharing with SwirlingFire – Insights and Ramblings of melody

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