SwirlingFire: The Silent Charmer
The Silent Charmer
Sneaking up when you weren’t paying attention
A stealth bomber on a black ops mission
A barely audible hum
Matt black surface on a metal casing
Dials and switches
Blinking on and off
A nano second trip switch
Throws you off kilter
Whatever whooshed past you best say ‘goodbye’
It’s a long time until the next circuit completes
Confusion not clarity
Trickery not transparency
Swooping in as a white knight before
Precision cut sections
Keyhole incisions to drain the senses
You wont ever be able to pinpoint the first time
The push back
You believed the fault was yours
Gut wrenching knots as acid reflux burns your throat
The voice you need escapes deeper into your soul
Self doubt started creeping in
Hey remember when you made him lose his temper?
Kicking and punching you because you reached out to him in the night?!
Terrified to fall asleep
you should’ve known better
You’ll know next time
You’ll go back
You know it
he knows it
Twisted around scattered breadcrumbs
Painful underfoot because you believed the lies
Over and over
Can’t say NO, you told me
Of course it’s tall tales from the old boys brigade
The precision of exacting phrases
Word for word
Equal measures of his pride and arrogance
On view to all, invisible to you
They see a picture perfect pal
You see A deluded nurturer
Turning his charm off and on
Time and again
A Eureka moment
withheld sweet nothings
morphing breeze blocks
Grey, weighted burning
Face turned away from
slaps that were banned
Undisclosed rape fantasies
Real fear the new aphrodisiac
Frozen and muted
Its quicker to live through
Though why do you bother?
Close your eyes
It wont hurt anymore
Fear based on facts
feet bolted down
as the mind slides away
Longing for release
Panting grunts ebb
As the scene reaches closure
The shocked self revulsion
Guilt coated shame
eyes lock together
The flicker of truth
Time changes All
What was once poison
the long drawn out punishment
Silence is now
The New Calm
@ SwirlingFire 10 August
August 12, 2021 @ 8:01 pm
Wow such a powerful piece. It definitely gives me understanding on the relationships some of my mother’s friend endured when I was but a teenager. I remember not questioning why we were helping them out and just doing my bit because I knew it was the right thing. Even 10 years ago one of friends was going through hell and I was the only male her daughter trusted for a few years because I was there when they needed me, even if it was just support and someone to talk. This just gives me clarity that I have and will continue to do the right thing and support women in need when they come to me.
Thank you for sharing
August 14, 2021 @ 8:30 am
You were mature beyond your years back then.
Thankyou for your time and replying. I’m a bitv overwhelmed to type more.
Thankyou for hearing and understanding
August 11, 2021 @ 8:18 pm
There is so much packed into this and I think that is the beauty of poetry. I loved the way that the form hides a lot of the nuance and allows it to be skirted over in the same way as the content. Powerful writing Swirly. Missy x
August 16, 2021 @ 6:13 pm
Thankyou very much. This style really works for me as I process through the years.
Regular blogging style incites angry ranty engagement
August 11, 2021 @ 6:30 pm
You’re so right. It takes a very long time to understand our response to violence or attack, in all it’s forms.
It really helps recovery talking with certain people that don’t need the complexities explained to make sense.
I’m sad that too many see the deeper undercurrents of this piece but, not being misunderstood makes a massive difference to outlook
Wishing you a healthy future
August 11, 2021 @ 5:29 pm
“The voice you need escapes deeper into your soul”
This sentence rings so true. It took me a long time to understand she wasn’t abandoning me but keeping that tiny core of self safe from him.
Beautifully challenging read as always swirly. 🌺
August 11, 2021 @ 12:41 pm
“Hey remember when you made him lose his temper?”
That sentence really hit home for me. Before I went through that abuse, I had always said I would never become that woman, the one who believes she was wrong, and it was her fault he hit her, abused her. And then it happened… and it took me months to get out of the situation.
Powerful words here, Swirly!
~ Marie xox
August 11, 2021 @ 6:26 pm
I am sorry a line resonated a memory for you. It catches at inopportune moments.
I’m so pleased you’re not in the situation anymore and you’re proof positive that there are decent men on the planet
August 13, 2021 @ 6:52 pm
There most definitely are decent men, thank god for that!