Six hours in a sleepsack, oblivious to the world sounds wonderfully relaxing, right ?
It certainly can be, but when she straps me in, applies the blindfold and places the headphones over my ears there’s an additional element. The headphones are playing a continuous hypnosis loop and will continue to do so for the next six hours. This is my ‘brainwashing’ session.
I’ve been here before, I know what to expect. I know how to dip in and out of the loop and enjoy the relaxation until the physical effects of the discomfort in confinement kick in. Easy, right ?
Not this time. Subs are notorious for digging themselves in to holes. This hole was due to cancelling a normal hypnosis session the previous week and the suggestion that she do it just before starting the brainwashing loop – no need to find time in a busy schedule, you see.
I know the normal hypnosis session very well, just as I am coming to know the brainwashing session. Neither holds fears of personal safety, so how different could it be combining them ?
For various reasons the induction and standalone hypnosis part were super effective, they took me right down in to trance and they were perfectly aligned to the loop which was about to play. This was like going from grainy black and white to 4K HD colour in 3D. The sub-conscious was locked in to maintaining the trance and processing the loop. It was obsessed and totally focused on that one thing to the exclusion of everything else. The poor old conscious was sidelined and was the one receiving the suggestions to sleep and getting progressively more tired as time ticked by.
And it’s not just the mental side that pushes endurance to the limit. The physical discomfort of very limited movement builds up its own stresses. Six hours of being in essentially the same position takes its toll. To make it even more interesting I’m still recovering from a bruised coccyx. It’s insidious, at some point the minor adjustments are not enough, yet the confining straps make significant movement impossible. The dance starts, slowly at first. there’s relief from movement to change the pressure points. Yet it just moves the stresses to places less well able to handle them. It’s an exquisite torture as the time between movements becomes necessarily shorter and the whole body aches.
In previous sessions the physical endurance has come to dominate the mental endurance as we approach the end. This time she’d so cleverly locked me in to trance that the two increased exponentially side by side. No relief from either.
Six hours relaxing in a sleepsack, huh ? Nah, one of the most wonderfully tough sessions ever that left me more wrecked and wrung out than I’ve ever known, even compared to the hardest CP session.
And that’s not quite it. The long time given to the brainwashing is book-ended with cell time and other bondage activities.
Hard to convey that such quiet activities, gentle activities can take you so far to the mental and physical limits that the self-doubts are screaming back at you. That the drop is as hard as from any pain.
And why do I come back for more, knowing it will be harder ? When the drop subsides there’s a long lasting sense of achievement and purpose. The need to submit stronger each time. The best analogy I have is that it’s like a high jump competition. Ultimately everyone fails, the winner is just the last one to fail. And yet, each new round the competitors have a higher bar and are determined not to fail. They don’t quite know where their point of failure is. I’m like that high jumper, always driven to attempting the higher bar, needing the uncertainty of whether I can clear it or not.
And it’s in that grey area that the really interesting stuff happens for both of us.