For about 8 months I’ve been waiting for a certain conversation. Originally dreading the thought of it. Since Christmas it’s been more of a curiosity in the back of my mind as to what it would feel like.
For work I have about 10 pairs of boots in different styles and colours. The heel heights range from just over 3″ to just over 4″. You can’t really miss them, even with male trousers covering them.
For all this time ‘that’ conversation hasn’t happened. Not really too surprising in my own office which only has one female in it. Do the males notice, I’ve no idea. My stride has shortened and slowed to the extent that the sound of my heels is much less than some of the clod hoppers. And perhaps there’s caution in certain individuals who might comment since they have a record of bullying someone who was trans and losing in the tribunal.
Today that conversation happened. The lower two floors have a 75% female work force and one who I’ve occasionally talked to brought up the boots. Expecting to be somewhat defensive I was warmly surprised when she said how much she liked the colours and styles she’s seen me wear.
There’s no doubt that since Christmas melody has increasingly spilled over in to the vanilla world. What’s presented at work is now a thin veneer of ‘him’ but it’s melody increasingly in control underneath.
A conversation that should have scared him rigid turned out to be fun for her and another degree of validation and acceptance in the vanilla world. So far melody has been okay with being around strangers. This was someone I’ll see potentially every day who could have given sly looks and whispered behind my back, yet out of the blue showed acceptance and made my morning.
Here’s a picture of today’s boots. You can’t pretend that they are designed for male wear and melody’s not trying to pretend anymore.