Funny He Never Married

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The late 1960’s comedy had lots of great television and radio performers revolving through lots of different programs.  For that reason I had to look up where this sketch came from.  It’s actually from “It’s Marty”, performed by Marty Feldman and Tim Brooke-Taylor.

What brought it to mind this time was a telephone call with the father.  Any hint that I might have some contact with female company sets him off.  You’d think by now he might consider it all a bit late.

I’ve run this gauntlet for over 30 years.  Although she’d never broach the subject directly, the mere mention by me of even the most vague acquaintance with a female name would have my mother’s eyes light up with thoughts of being a mother-in-law and grandchildren.  An intense unvoiced disappointment in her expression each time she realised it was a false hope.

The father would be a bit more crude in realising I wasn’t going to get married, or even present some nice girl to them.  He’d wonder aloud how many bastard children I had dotted around the country.  He still does that now 🙁

The more they applied those family pressures the more I withdrew from them by keeping away from topics of conversation that I knew would lead to questions I wasn’t going to answer.  There was too much they were incapable of understanding.  Reading Marty Feldman’s script has me particularly chuckling over this part.


2. Funny he never married. He was a happy man.
1. Yes, yes he was.
2. He was a happy man.
1. He was, he was …
2. Yes, Yes. Never happier than when he was dressing up.
1. Theatrical streak, I suppose.
2. I suppose …
1. Yes …
2. How he loved that mother of pearl handbag.
1. Almost broke his heart, it did, when he left it on the bus.
2. He loved dressing up, yes.
1. Yes …
2. All in all it’s, er … funny he never married.

Turning up at the father’s house in skirt or dress with heels has a certain mad attraction but would cause more problems than it answered.

So for now I’ll amuse myself by recalling the phrase ‘funny he never married’ whenever those familial conversations touch awkward ground.  Maybe I should email him the script … lol.