Category Archives: Personal

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 9, The Whirling Conscious

“Let the mind wander as it will.” That’s a phrase I’ve heard a lot.  She uses it towards the end of an induction so that the separation between my conscious and sub-conscious is more distinct.  It’s the instruction for the conscious to go mind it’s own business whilst she talks to the sub-conscious.

Asexuality: A Personal Q&A

  You’re asexual, so you hate sex ?  Often that’s about the most informed people are regarding being asexual.  Some think you’re seriously mis-wired, some think you just haven’t met the right partner to bring you out of it. 

One Year On

This is a rather unexpected millmilestone – this blog is one year old. When first committing metaphorical pen to paper it’s easy to believe that you must craft a masterpiece every time.  That way lies madness and one soon learns that you’d never publish anything under that regime. There are three things that really stand out from one… Read More »

Taking A Stroll

Yesterday was a lovely pre-spring day, so I went for a stroll and did something I’ve been meaning to do since I moved here 3 1/2 years ago. 

It’s Only Pain

I’ve been haunted by a comment made well over 20 years ago by a domme who first showed me what some of the hitty, hurty things could do.  It’s where I discovered how I can go introverted and unable to speak to safeword.  As mild as it seems now, I took a lot more than she expected, and… Read More »

Which Gender Identity is Celibate ?

Celibacy – the abstinence from sex. That seems clear cut and cold, yet there’s so much more to it.  Depending on the person involved the reasons for abstinence vary widely. 

Confidence Is Everything

As we hurtle through life we navigate it in light of our fears.  We restrict ourselves to taking the safe path to avoid crippling anxiety.

Why is the Brain Full of Pepperoni ?

“In my opinion, there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind. Stephen Hawking”

Exploring your mind is something that can be done whilst warm under the duvet. A post for #WickedWednesday prompt oof

Noise Phobic or a Snob ?

I can come across as a right anti-social little bugger.  One of the reasons is that I have low threshold tolerance to ambient noise.  I’ve always been that way and recently it’s got significantly worse.  The trigger for this thought train came from a Twitter thread on films.  It becomes a bit of a joke when similar discussions… Read More »

melody Does Have Her Own Personality

Something I keep nagging at is how real is melody ?  Is she some kind of play acting thrown at me by my psyche as a joke to excuse a cross dressing fetish by pretending it’s real ?

Beyond Trust

I tend to get caught up in semantics and precisely what a word means to me.  Lately my thoughts have turned to the word vulnerable and it’s sibling, vulnerability and how my changing perceptions relate to another key word, trust.

2018 – Perhaps Better Than I Thought

I wasn’t going to go all retrospective about 2018 until I thought that in some ways it’s been quite momentous and that I need to acknowledge and celebrate that.

The Christmas House of Horrors

This post is me cathartically venting.  It is my way of dumping an unpleasant time over Christmas and moving on (until next time). CONTENT WARNING This post contains examples of the stream of consciousness I was subjected to over two days of Christmas.  Be warned that it contains examples of :- Transphobia / Homophobia Racism Misogyny Body shaming… Read More »

The Beat of the Music

I don’t have a soundtrack to my life.  I’m not one of those people who has a constant need for music, I find it too distracting and it will trigger my hatred of noise unless I’m prepared. Attending opera and concerts is a different matter and I can think of some sublime songs/arias (whatever you want to call… Read More »

Who Do You Think I Am ?

That’s probably not the question you might think it is. What people see is in the eye of the beholder and over the years I have had some fascinating conversations and insights as to what people think they see in melody.

100 Not Out

A surprising stat has come to my attention.  My previous post was my 100th on this blog.  Since starting the blog, that works out to about 11 posts a month or slightly better than 1 every 3 days.

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 8, Scrambling Time Sense

I’ve been experiencing the brainwashing sessions for a year, there are a number evolutions over that time as both of us have learned so much. The key word for this post is TIME.

The Tragedy of E

This time I’m going all the way back to the time when I discovered Mrs Silks chat room and held my nerve long enough to stay there.  It’s a time that can’t be disentangled from E and the effects she had on my development.  Over a long period of years there were many downs alongside the ups which… Read More »

Will Everybody Please STFU

There’s a right of passage when the 18th birthday is looming.  It’s time to swagger up to the door of the local night club and attempt to get in without being quizzed.  Back then they weren’t bothered about underage drinking so long as it wasn’t too obvious. So having found myself inside the den of pleasure it all… Read More »

Emotions: Shaken And Stirred

Emotions !!  I fear it’s a topic I will return to again and again. Emotional responses are my clearest means to understanding the flux of melody being in the ascendant. There is an “I” composed of “him” and “melody” along a spectrum.  For the longest time it was comprised almost entirely of “him”.  To the extent that it’s… Read More »