Category Archives: Personal

Bank Holiday Silliness

Gender dysphoria is often accompanied by body dysmorphia.  For some it’s debilitating.  Fortunately, I only have a light version of it.  I was doing well last year with weight loss until I got seriously ill and ended up putting half of it back on.  I’m finding it depressingly hard to shift. Looking at myself can set off all… Read More »

Do I Love or Hate Pain ? – Yes

I don’t watch or browse porn.  I certainly used to.  If I had to put my finger on it, the (never intense) interest in porn waned as the chastity lifestyle took hold and other parts of my makeup that I now recognise had a chance to incubate and then germinate. If someone pointed me at a video, I… Read More »

It’s Just Banter, Isn’t It?

Content / Trigger Warning Sexual Harassment Rape Male victims This piece goes outside my usual themes.  Over the years I’ve heard a lot in public and in confidence about the struggles and consequences of women with male behaviour ranging from the unthinking harassment of ‘banter’ to full on sexual, physical and mental aggression. My sympathy, empathy and support… Read More »

My Lifestyle Rules

I’ve spent some time considering this simple word and frankly, I must be a disappointment in this respect. I first encountered online forums some 25 years ago and if you want obsessive rules, these are still the places to go.  Whether it was the high protocol rooms on IRC – ‘slave must kneel and ask permission to enter… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 10, You Do It To Yourself

Hypnosis – You do it to yourself. The sub-conscious acts on the suggestions it wants to, those compatible with its desires and fantasies.  The hypnotist can’t make you want incompatible things, but they can manipulate the intensity of your desire to facilitate their suggestions for things you knowingly and unknowingly want, lowering barriers to adoption and implementation. The… Read More »

Reflections

I wasn’t going to acknowledge Mother’s Day, certainly not publicly, until I started seeing various tweets go by.  It struck me just how difficult a day it can be for a lot of people.  There’s an additional poignancy for me in that tomorrow would have been her birthday, too. It’s not that I’ve ignored this sort of remembrance,… Read More »

One Year On

This is a rather unexpected millmilestone – this blog is one year old. When first committing metaphorical pen to paper it’s easy to believe that you must craft a masterpiece every time.  That way lies madness and one soon learns that you’d never publish anything under that regime. There are three things that really stand out from one… Read More »

Noise Phobic or a Snob ?

I can come across as a right anti-social little bugger.  One of the reasons is that I have low threshold tolerance to ambient noise.  I’ve always been that way and recently it’s got significantly worse.  The trigger for this thought train came from a Twitter thread on films.  It becomes a bit of a joke when similar discussions… Read More »

Beyond Trust

I tend to get caught up in semantics and precisely what a word means to me.  Lately my thoughts have turned to the word vulnerable and it’s sibling, vulnerability and how my changing perceptions relate to another key word, trust.