Category Archives: Personal

Why is the Brain Full of Pepperoni ?

“In my opinion, there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind. Stephen Hawking”

Exploring your mind is something that can be done whilst warm under the duvet. A post for #WickedWednesday prompt oof

Noise Phobic or a Snob ?

I can come across as a right anti-social little bugger.  One of the reasons is that I have low threshold tolerance to ambient noise.  I’ve always been that way and recently it’s got significantly worse.  The trigger for this thought train came from a Twitter thread on films.  It becomes a bit of a joke when similar discussions… Read More »

melody Does Have Her Own Personality

Something I keep nagging at is how real is melody ?  Is she some kind of play acting thrown at me by my psyche as a joke to excuse a cross dressing fetish by pretending it’s real ?

Beyond Trust

I tend to get caught up in semantics and precisely what a word means to me.  Lately my thoughts have turned to the word vulnerable and it’s sibling, vulnerability and how my changing perceptions relate to another key word, trust.

2018 – Perhaps Better Than I Thought

I wasn’t going to go all retrospective about 2018 until I thought that in some ways it’s been quite momentous and that I need to acknowledge and celebrate that.

The Christmas House of Horrors

This post is me cathartically venting.  It is my way of dumping an unpleasant time over Christmas and moving on (until next time). CONTENT WARNING This post contains examples of the stream of consciousness I was subjected to over two days of Christmas.  Be warned that it contains examples of :- Transphobia / Homophobia Racism Misogyny Body shaming… Read More »

The Beat of the Music

I don’t have a soundtrack to my life.  I’m not one of those people who has a constant need for music, I find it too distracting and it will trigger my hatred of noise unless I’m prepared. Attending opera and concerts is a different matter and I can think of some sublime songs/arias (whatever you want to call… Read More »

Who Do You Think I Am ?

That’s probably not the question you might think it is. What people see is in the eye of the beholder and over the years I have had some fascinating conversations and insights as to what people think they see in melody.

100 Not Out

A surprising stat has come to my attention.  My previous post was my 100th on this blog.  Since starting the blog, that works out to about 11 posts a month or slightly better than 1 every 3 days.

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 8, Scrambling Time Sense

I’ve been experiencing the brainwashing sessions for a year, there are a number evolutions over that time as both of us have learned so much. The key word for this post is TIME.

The Tragedy of E

This time I’m going all the way back to the time when I discovered Mrs Silks chat room and held my nerve long enough to stay there.  It’s a time that can’t be disentangled from E and the effects she had on my development.  Over a long period of years there were many downs alongside the ups which… Read More »

Will Everybody Please STFU

There’s a right of passage when the 18th birthday is looming.  It’s time to swagger up to the door of the local night club and attempt to get in without being quizzed.  Back then they weren’t bothered about underage drinking so long as it wasn’t too obvious. So having found myself inside the den of pleasure it all… Read More »

Emotions: Shaken And Stirred

Emotions !!  I fear it’s a topic I will return to again and again. Emotional responses are my clearest means to understanding the flux of melody being in the ascendant. There is an “I” composed of “him” and “melody” along a spectrum.  For the longest time it was comprised almost entirely of “him”.  To the extent that it’s… Read More »

At the Car Wash

It’s a familiar thing these days.  Pull up in the supermarket car park in the crisp early morning and there’s a gang there in overalls and green jackets. You’re going to have to run the gauntlet of the very un-British thing of being asked a direct question by a stranger.  It’s as bad as the bus or the… Read More »

The Obscure Venn Diagram of Norman Collier & Hypnosis.

Who can remember hiding under the bed sheets trying to tune in a transistor radio ?  For some it would have been Radio Luxembourg, for me more likely to be a football commentary from across the continent.  Keeping a medium wave station in sync was an art form. Forty-five years later I sometimes think that we haven’t really… Read More »

There’s Room for Two: Sharing with SwirlingFire

If you’ve passed by here in the last month or so you’ll have noticed that there’s another voice sharing my blog space. I must admit that the momentum leading up to offering to publish someone else’s thoughts took me by surprise.

Am I That Different ?

Chatting with someone the other evening, they hit me with this:- You have an intelligent eloquent style of writing that’s different to other cd/sissy / masochist/exploratory

Emotional Content

That’s part of a famous line uttered by Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. If there’s one thing that makes melody easier to identify in the swings and roundabouts of daily life it is in the expression of emotions. Emotion and me have had a rocky relationship over the years.  We kind of gave up on each other… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 7, To Surrender Is To Win

I have an unexpected quiet day which gives me some leisure to put a few things in better and broader context.  The last brainwashing and hypnosis sessions have had effects that I’m still processing and learning.  On the back of a fresh foundation of submission, service and obedience driven deeper than ever in the brainwashing, the following hypnosis… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 6, Don’t Panic

I wrote a few days ago on the sudden decision to wear heeled boots to work (Little Steps for Big Steps).  Really I’d love to be able to wear court shoes with 4″ stilettos but that’s not going to happen any time soon. There’s quite a few things now where an aspect of melody rounds off the male… Read More »