Stepping Out

There are different types of hypnosis sessions and my favourite is the real-time session.  These are the same format as the online webcam sessions, except that we’re in the same room and about three feet apart.  There’s an added element of intimacy to these sessions.  She can play more with her voice in the confidence that technology won’t interfere.  She can see the whole me and not just the face, meaning she gets vastly more feedback during the session.

Another facet of this type of session was that from early on it was an opportunity for melody to be dressed, properly dressed.  Dressing for a CP session has constraints, it requires clothes to be quickly removable mid-session.  No such constraints for a hypnosis session except the time changing before and after.

She regularly tours to a dungeon about halfway between me and her London premises and this makes these real time sessions feasible.

For the last eight or nine months I’ve had enough confidence such that melody has been very visible in public spaces.  That’s very definitely a result of years of hypnosis, generating that confidence and adding bloody mindedness.  Outside of the work environment melody has evolved to being comfortable wearing female jeans, heeled boots and feminine tops when going about her normal business.

I’m dressed that way, with a few additional touches such as bright nail polish when I go to the London dungeon and have no issues with stopping at service stations and interacting.

As fine as that is, there’s something missing in that picture.  In one respect it’s a compromise, it’s as female as melody dare expose to the general public.  The corollary to that is that the presented image is not female, the onlooker sees, at best, an androgynous looking male.

The question for a long time is what is required to present a more consistent female image ?  It’s not going to be an image that passes, but if it can be one where it takes a second look to realise it’s not actually female that is good enough for now.

There are four things that make a big difference to what’s projected

• Cleavage – the more proportionally shaped profile it creates sets female expectations in the eye of the beholder
• Legs – tight jeans are one thing, a skirt or dress showing nylon clad flesh is another visual clue to think ‘female’
• Heels – 4″ stacked / block heels work well with the androgynous look and can work just as well with a more female look.  But what we’re really talking about here are stiletto heels, these are unequivocally female.
• Hair – feminine hair styling takes away sharp edges to the profile

All of this has been floating in my head for several weeks.  For the last few real time hypnosis sessions I’ve made the journey as melody to the extent that I’ve been comfortable displaying in public.  The great thing being that there’s no need to change and that leaves a lot more time for discussion.

The location for the real time hypnosis is such that provided there’s petrol in the tank, there’s no need to stop and interact.  Then, at the location it’s usually possible to park very close.

And that’s what has been floating around in my head.  Was this session the right time and opportunity to up the ante of melody in public ?

Three years ago there was no way that the male would have countenanced any vaguely feminine touches.  The fear of discovery, ridicule and shame being too strong.  I’ve come along way since then.  Not least that melody is now the primary persona and ego and the first person usage in this post is her, as it is now daily usage.  It’s still slightly fluid but generally these days I/me = she/her = melody.

To what extent does the hypnosis ‘make’ me want to up the ante ?  That question is backwards, as explained here A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 10, You Do It To Yourself.  What the hypnosis does do is twofold.  It lowers the inhibitions to do what it is that you’ve always wanted to do, and provides me with an unbelievable level of confidence to make those decisions and see them through.

All of which is why I recently found myself fully dressed and driving two hours down the motorway, parking in a supermarket car park to await the allotted time, a short walk to the dungeon venue.  Later the reverse of the short walk and the two hour drive home.  All this in broad daylight.

I ought to have been paralysed with fear.  Though that’s an oxymoron since that fearful paralysis would have stopped me being dressed in the first place.

I always get butterflies of nervous anticipation in the morning of one these sessions and this time the decision to be fully dressed really intensified them.  Normally, the time spent driving allows me to centre myself and arrive calm.  Leaving work at lunchtime to go home for a shower and to dress had the tension at it’s maximum.  This was soon to be rapidly dissipated with the discovery that the boiler had packed up again and having to shower in very cold water.

Yes, it was odd driving down the motorway knowing that the profile people could see was essentially female.

The following were taken on arrival back home, so the hair is a bit dishevelled.

No, these are not quality makeover pictures and it’s no attempt at a perfect passable look.  It may come as a surprise in that I find that doesn’t matter, though it probably will do at some point in time.  Right now I prefer the path of learning to be comfortable within my skin with all its faults.  If I can handle the glare of being in public in that form, then there’s glory in acquiring and strutting a perfect look whilst it lasts.  Starting with makeover passability and coping with the disappointment and angst when the look fades is to me, unhealthy.

As contained as it was, melody properly stepped out this time.  For the curious, the boots are the most comfortable stilettos I have ever worn, no problem wearing them all day, even outside on random surfaces.  The bag – yeah, well – the switch to skirt from jeans leaves one serious problem, no pockets.  Beforehand I thought it might have been a step too far but necessity makes a mockery of such concerns.