SwirlingFire: #365Words for #365Days

I hoped I’d feel so much better to have a goal and exceed it.

I don’t feel its much of an achievement.

I hurt as much today as I did 365 days ago.

The only difference?

99% of it was not about me

1% – Me, believing the lies.

I was brainwashed by an expert that practices d/s.

I’ve learnt a lot

I’ve learnt I know nothing about trusting a kind caring truthful dom that has integrity and my physical, sexual and mental health as a priority.

@SwirlingFire 2 September 2019

#365Words for #365Days

Barely a flicker
Rarely a thought
Life is wonderful
Still not caught

Success after success
Glory in public
A dedicated life
Of value and worth
Portfolio grows
The affluent surface
Where image is all

Nothing is cheap
lavish moments
Squandered
Self care priorities
Enjoying life’s wealth

Money and status
Living the dream
Everyone’s “Go To”
Glamour and friendships
Cats enjoy cream

New friends
New experiences
More connections established
More lovers
More laughs
Holidays in sunshine
Living
Laughing
Loving
Good food
Great wine
An expensive tan line

Hedonism in full swing
Debauched expressions of lust
Overlapped lovers
Dubious Safety
abandoned with flair

Occasional hangovers
Hotel breakfasts
Elegant clothes
Learning new skills
Travelling
New places
Joking
Smiling

A few bumps in the road
Frequent sleepless nights
Placing blame upon others
That caused strife
Thoughts about loved ones
Of long ago days
The ‘might have been” moments
the wants of good life
Deep losses for glory days
Everything changed
Times of sorrow
No one compares

Mischievous eyes with flashing smiles
Hiding brimstone and sulphur
Beneath sharp crisp sighs

New starts
New careers
7 deadly sins
in full technicolour
Still breathing
Still trim

Calm and collected
Everyone’s choice
Dismissive and bored
Finding a voice
A few tiny blips that nobody knows
Secrets buried
In thick concrete boots
Oblivious to damage
that ripples on ponds
Polluting new streams.
candour and blessed

Working and writing
Caring for others
Scrolling for pleasure
Finding new lovers

Distraction in politics
Sharing strong views
Shouting for freedom
Good health championing for all
Fairness
for others
For all,
except you

Tired and exhausted
Treading new pavements
Repeating old systems
Following old pathways
Shifting the view
Roads to destinations
Always finding new targets
What’s wrong with this choice
Deja Vu

The glamour of life trappings
The surface so shiny
The smiles and the laughter
Avoiding real clarity
The person
The life
The image tightly crafted
A storybook character
Exquisitely curated

And
me
Fighting against time
Alone
Backstabbed and mocked

The chaotic landslide
Waiting to happen
A spectators sport
A life totally flattened
Frozen in ice
That’s slowly melting
A plateau revealed
As warmth causes shifting

Searching for the passport
to buy a ticket out of his mess.

Swirlingfire: A Posting History

@Swirlingfire, 15 August 2019

 #sb4mh”, #MentalHealthMonday. Why not go check out other posts.

#WickedWednesday