This piece I wrote on FetLife a little while ago. It expresses some of my thoughts on the type of person I find irresistible as a domme – The Virgin Queen.
The inspiration of the virgin-queen archetype goes back a long way, mythical figures from pre-history mixing with more modern characters. It really impinges on western culture with the Arthurian and Grail romances of the medieval period. It’s maintained in folklore with the likes of Rapunzel from the Brothers Grimm, Queen Elizabeth I actively cultivated a rather literal image of this archetype. It still persists today, largely in fairy tales such as Cinderella and Snow White. And for relevance here, it is common in D/s.
There is the related archetype of the virgin-whore and the two can overlap substantially. The distinction I make here is that the virgin-queen is absolutely unobtainable whilst the virgin-whore maybe available, even if not to you – think of being a cuckold, she’s available to someone, just not you.
So, the virgin-queen ? The old romances provide a good picture of what this means. A woman on a pedestal with one or many admirers. All of them captivated and in the almost certain knowledge that the angst and pining for each other has a purity that will never be defiled by giving in to carnal lust. The tales are often about the misery and suffering of being trapped in this chaste love – the medieval courts lapped this up writing and performing eclogues around these themes. It has to be said that largely the angst and pining was mostly done by the men and often, though not always, she revelled in her role as the centre of attention.
For a sub such as myself, the virgin-queen becomes the ideal model for my domme. She is the untouchable goddess so high up on the pedestal that I can’t reach her, anyway. Dommes who are chastity keyholders are often playing this archetype. Subs in chastity can be taken to emotional extremes of unrequited passion and lust. However, the interactions with a virgin-queen can be far more subtle than primal urges. The knight on his quest suffered gladly, mentally and physically for his object of chaste love, expecting nothing in return. Only hoping for a smile, a moment of conversation or a peck on the cheek.
I spent a long time in chastity to one virgin-queen, now that I’ve passed beyond chastity and in to emasculation and desexualisation I don’t have the passion or lust by which I can be controlled that way anymore. Strangely enough, this not only doesn’t matter, it also highlights how all the other facets of this archetype are so much more vivid in my own conceptualisations.
Yes, I seem to have found another virgin-queen who knows how to pull every single trigger that binds a sub to her portrayal of the archetype. There’s massive potential for unleashing emotional storms and yet it’s all held in place and enjoyed to the full because of the incontrovertible knowledge that she is forever unobtainable.