This Is Not The Domme You Are Looking For

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I see some useful blogs and Twitter threads go by providing advice in how to approach and behave towards a domme.  Or how the newly (and not so newly) curious might take the first steps to seeing their dreams and fantasies be played out in reality.

This post looks at some of the same things but from a slightly different perspective.  Some D/s players can meet, play for a while and then move on with barely a word spoken.

Others, like myself need someone with whom they can interact on many levels.  So when all that careful manoeuvring in online and phone conversation looks like it’s going somewhere, remember, you haven’t won yet.  It really is a good idea to meet in a social environment to check each other out.

And this is where that roller coaster can meet the buffers.  You really want it to work out okay, but sometimes you’ve got to learn that important lesson and just walk away.

The time I am thinking of I arranged to meet her for lunch in her Midlands town.  A grey depressing day became more depressing to find the venue she was raving about was a down market Harvester type place.

She was an hour late when she arrived by taxi and my heart sank.  I’ve known some wonderful ladies who been very much on the large side.  One in particular showed me my first experiences of CP and was a wonderful person who became my ‘big sister’.  So I’ve no hang ups about size.  However, sometimes one’s impression can be influenced by the way people carry themselves.  In this case she carried herself badly and the vibes were not good.

Having spent a few hours driving there, I was determined to at least have lunch and see if there was good company and conversation to enjoy.

WorstDateAs well as being large, the lady was obviously the family matriarch in the style of Roy Barraclough and Les Dawson.  Whether this had limited her range of social experiences or not, I don’t know.  It obviously restricted her conversational topics.

Of her two conversational topics, one was how much she enjoyed inflicting pain on subs and the other was the infinite medical history of her entire extended family.

No matter how much as a sub you’re looking for a domme – any domme – even whilst dreaming of flights of fancy you sometimes have to face up to the fact that this isn’t going to work.  In Brexit parlance: no deal is better than a bad deal.

Learning to walk away from a potentially bad experience is a very important part of growing your D/s experience.  You need to learn to take notice of all those nagging warning bells when you’re really hoping something good will happen.   Your gonads and your desire to submit have you on a high that puts you in a vulnerable place for all the wrong reasons, and you must learn to tell them . . . no!