Am I That Different ?

Chatting with someone the other evening, they hit me with this:-

You have an intelligent eloquent style of writing that’s different to other cd/sissy / masochist/exploratory

Okay, so if you’re going to set off all the traditional British character traits of embarrassment and self-deprecation I might as well sneak in a clarification question, to which the reply was:-

Your writing is not a sexual masochist style trying to be all one up man ship clever

Hubris aside, I know I’m different in a few ways.  People come to the blog, ask where’s the sex ? and leave.  I’ve no problem with the OP’s terminology, I know what they meant and they’re as good as any other labels for the purpose of discussion.  I can’t expect anyone else to understand my own nuancing of the labels.  I understand the sissy space, though I am no longer of it, if I ever was.

And this has to be one of the differences the OP was alluding to.  I can be very scathing about the sissy space and I don’t see that discussed elsewhere very often.

What probably sets the tone behind much of my writing is, indeed, the lack of sex.  I’m not interested in it, not looking for it, not capable of it.

I am actually rather smug about the second quote as I think it captures something.  One of the things that drove me away from online forums was how competitive most subs are.  I liken it to a bunch of chimps flinging dung at each other, in this case the subs fling testosterone.

The amazing thing about this is that these ‘submissives’ are usually doing it in an attempt at attracting a dominant.  Often you’ll also find them claiming to be an ‘alpha’ in vanilla life.  However, what usually comes across is that they’re showing massive male entitlement and just being dicks.

I’ve traversed so many of these spaces in exploring who I am and I learned very early on to be an individual and not drink the Kool Aid.  I have an insight in to the various psychologies because I’ve had to look hard inside myself to understand what does and does not resonate with me.

To wrap up this musing, our discussion delved in to the ‘alpha’ thing.  It’s a term I’ve come to regard with a bit of contempt.  I wrote:

It’s a very common trope in sissy / cuckold / humiliation to play on inadequacy compared to an ‘alpha’. 

That’s never worked on me.  I’ve never been intimidated by it.  And you know, there’s fun in knowing how annoying that can be to people with their heads up their arses

Perhaps I’m different because I’ve come to a reasonable idea as to who I am and that these are my own conclusions.  My sense of self is strong enough to not need to belong and conform to a set of arbitrary behaviours behind a set of arbitrary labels.

And how do I reconcile a strong sense of self with a desire for absolute submission ?  I’d say it was an essential requirement.