Harmful Language Programs Male Subs

By | June 5, 2018
Reading Time: 3 minutes

In a previous post I made a reference to the way that the Internet drives sub and especially ‘sissy’ expectations of what they are supposed to be and that it’s been a race to the bottom.

To nicely illustrate the point I was thinking about, I came across this tweet.  What I should emphasise is that this is fairly mild and from someone who otherwise takes their responsibilities seriously.

I’ll not name the lady, but it is a domme I’ve seen around who I know does take due care of those who come to her and takes pride in doing so.

What a miserable day! ☔️ which pathetic loser is gonna put a smile on my face today? Who shall I laugh at and humiliate? New sissies and ABDL’s are welcomed into my empire 👑 impress me by applying. Good luck 😘

I have some difficulty in believing that if this was a male dom trying to attract a female that the language would be deemed in any way acceptable.

Yet, this is de rigeur for males subs, be it sissy, ABDL, FinDom, chastity and many other kinks.  I can’t think of a domme I’ve come across with an online presence who doesn’t use triggers like this or worse as the primary hook to attract new subs as clients.  Both parties are conditioned to the propaganda

I know it’s not cut and dried.  There are many subs who are self-aware regarding what they want and love the outlet of being called worthless and a loser, to be humiliated with SPH and sissy style feminisation.  To clarify, I’m not talking about the hotness of two people mutually playing around the themes of degradation and humiliation.  I’m talking about a mindset conditioned to believe in humiliation and degradation as the default state of being.

This gets reinforced by things like the “Sub’s Prayer”, which is sort of OK until the 3rd verse.femdomarchy-male-slave-prayer-to-domme-number-2.jpg

The nagging question I have is, did they have a choice to arrive at this position ?  Did they know this was not the only path ?  Did they have the information to consent to being conditioned in this way ?

When I talked with the ex-mistress a few weeks back, I specifically asked her about her levels of humiliation play.  I knew she had a few sissy’s and she confirmed that with those others she absolutely loved strong and cruel humiliation play with them.  Of course, those subs were regulars always coming back for more.  Knowing her well, this will have been consensual but it doesn’t take much for the ethics to slip to engage on the blackest of paths.

The pathology of how a male arrives in such a dark space is fascinating.  I’m convinced that the way a sub encounters the D/s environment through the online medium that it’s now an exception for him to not be programmed to accept the dark space as the real thing.

And if you want some food for thought, go back a few posts on consent where I started thinking more deeply about this.  Consider the male, any male not just a sub, exposed to all this negative fantasy programming that doesn’t have the courage, even online, to find an outlet.  He’s one step away from finding, viewing and believing the incel manifesto.


5 thoughts on “Harmful Language Programs Male Subs

  1. furcissy

    Ugh. I just typed up a comment and I think it got eaten when I clicked post comment. The browser spawned by WordPress can be glitchy. I will have to try again when I have more time.

    1. melodyinsights Post author

      I won’t bother approving this one since your main comment did get through.

  2. furcissy

    Thank you for sharing. I completely agree with the programming being in the majority now. I find this gets particularly complex when I know a number of Dommes who entered the lifestyle with a firm sense of ethics, balance, and moral basis to treat male subs well only to have it completely eroded in under a year.

    In a lot of ways it feels like it feeds itself.

    What I have gathered over time is that there is a way to tell if a sub reaches this via programming or if it represents their equilibrium mental state, and that is the way that they phrase their words. The sub who has found this place without the programming will never directly mention how they view their self or their worth but may easily talk about acts or services that someone with low worth would embrace. The programmed types tend to advertise it to the world as they announce to everyone how they are supposed to be dominated.

    In other cases I think people avoid the programming by avoiding porn, as that seems to be the medium where that is most common.

    Take care.

    1. melodyinsights Post author

      Thanks for the comment furcissy, as you see it did get through.

      It does feed on itself. I liken it to a variant of Gresham’s Law in that the bad drives out the good.

      You could well be right about the two ways to find this dark space. The vociferous sub is all “Look at me. I’ve followed all the rules and I’m proud to be a worthless sub”. Rather an oxymoron, I know, but it can come over that way.

      I had wondered to mention sex and porn but put it aside for another time. I think one reason I could say no to the dark pressures was because sex and masturbation held little initial attraction and continued to diminish. Behaviours hard-wired by orgasm are lethal for this type of behaviour. Especially if using degradation and humiliation porn. In many ways the latent gender dysphoria protected me from the traps and excesses.

      Thanks for taking the time, melody x

      1. furcissy

        Thank you, Melody. Since you changed post settings I can’t view it in the reader and the phone app default launches a fake browser that doesn’t always behave. Usually it says a comment is pending approval, but in this case it did not. I am glad that it got through.

        I consider myself one of those who reached the dark end before being exposed to it. While it is a part of me I can look at it objectively and I project it constantly. I think the difference is that I truly see myself negatively and try everything to display my positives. This is the reverse to those who feel like they deserve to have their fetishes met and fantasize and fetishize about being treated negatively. I know very well that Dommes want subs who are worthy.

        I think faptions (caption images) are one of the major driving forces behind this. I’m not a porn watcher and I actually had to see what the fuss was about after reading the 50th Domme-authored blog post about “porn isn’t real” (usually referring both to sub’s unrealistic expectations and newer Dommes getting intimidated thinking they had to imitate porn).

        Take care.


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