Self-Destructive Subs

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Content Warning: Discusses non-consensual activities – Blackmail

I saw a picture on my Twitter timeline that set off all my tics and triggers about the blurring of consent.

Short and brief as it is, this picture taken from a tweet with all identifying information removed, is the stuff of wet dreams for many male subs.


To be clear, the blanked out signature is that of a sub and there are two dommes whose names I have blanked.

Subs, especially male subs, have a tendency to want to dig themselves deeper in to a hole.  This is not a bratty type of behaviour to push a dominant, it is the intentional creation of predicaments that can be bowel watering in response to long held dark and terrifying fantasies.  The additional factor is that he knows he’s going to want to ‘wimp out’ as the predicament pressures become more frightening.  To that end, as a backstop it’s not an uncommon desire to be locked into the predicament, to ensure there’s no way out, to play out the fantasy to its ultimate conclusion, no matter how detrimental or destructive it is.  It’s a classic example of the penis over-ruling the brain in a major way.

I don’t know who the sub is, but the two dommes are well enough known in the FinDomme community and as a rule I would normally place them on the more ethical range of that activity.  I’m sure that all concerned consider themselves satisfied with the wording here because the sub has given signed consent and the games can begin.

There’s one major problem with this.  You can’t give consent to blackmail.  Blackmail is illegal since by definition the pressures of blackmail to force someone into something they don’t want to do is non-consensual.  There is a grey area in many aspects of kink play in the form of consensual non-consent.  This is not one of them.

This level of irresponsibility from all parties can make me despair at times, even though I understand what’s going through his mind quite well.  My long experience of chastity had very similar drivers and a need to keep digging deeper in to the darkness.  What was different is that the consent could be removed and the activities stopped (though there are ways to make that virtually impossible).  That may be impossible in the blackmail scenario unless you’re engaged with an ‘ethical’ blackmailer – now that’s an oxymoron if ever there was one.

The simple message is that consent to illegal activities is no defence in court.

A Google search will find you sites where example contracts can run into several pages.  Indeed, I often see Google search terms for this blog for blackmail, chastity and FinDom contracts linking to an earlier post on this blog.  There’s a lot searching for this kind of enforced slavery and misery.

The capacity of the human psyche to seek darkness and self-destruction is disturbing and there’s a lot out there seeking it.


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