SwirlingFire: Silent Scream
Silent Scream
I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon. As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me. Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”.
I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior.
I’m usually very good at this game.
Wearing a mask that totally shields my thoughts and feelings to the real world. It’s a practised art form. It’s taken more than a decade to skilfully hide in plain sight.
Reading down a list of thoughts feelings and activities, the lady looks intently at me. Kindly. Then she asks me the one question nobody ever has:
“Tell me how it feels to be you for a day“
A huge box of tissues is gently nudged towards me as she sees the first silent tear roll down my face.
Damn. That woman is good.
@Swirlingfire, 30 March 2019
Written for the #WickedWednesday meme of “Mental Health”. Why not go check out the other posts by clicking on the button.
April 11, 2019 @ 8:38 pm
Deep criesout to deep. I have learned that truer words have never been spoken. Despite our best efforts to hide ourselves, our spirit holds no secrets and it will call out to someone who has been where we have been in some way shape or form. To be in a field with exposure to people as she was she has learned the body cues, the tricks, all of it. I love how you show us how easily we can be read sometimes.
April 12, 2019 @ 5:16 pm
Ihi
Thankyou for taking time to read and reply.
I’ll be booking another session soon.
I’d recommend it for anybody who is learning to practice “self care”,
Best wishes
Swirly 🌻
April 11, 2019 @ 7:05 pm
Your writing is direct and profound. It has me thinking….
April 12, 2019 @ 5:14 pm
Hi
Thankyou for your comments. I hope I’ve not caused unpleasant thoughts for you
Swirly 🌻
April 9, 2019 @ 9:33 pm
Strong, powerful writing, where at first I thought you were looking at yourself in a mirror, which of course can be a form of therapy too, to really try and SEE yourself. Strong post!
Rebel xox
April 10, 2019 @ 2:51 pm
Thankyou once again for taking the time to read and reply. It really helps me. A lot. It’s true – I’ve not been able to look at myself in the mirror for a very long time. You have, once again, inspired a new thought train for another blog.
Best wishes to,you
Swirly 🌻
April 9, 2019 @ 4:02 pm
Therapy? I hope this helps you, Swirly.
LLL’s comment captures this post perfectly.
April 9, 2019 @ 12:31 pm
Oh Swirly, this post really tore me from my thoughts and made me stop – it’s so impactful and full of emotion (your writing is powerful). I hope so much that this process leads to happier days. It’s great that you have such a good therapist who can see behind the mask and help you on your way.
O
April 9, 2019 @ 5:01 pm
Hello StarLust
This blog details a Shiatsu Massage treatment I recently had. It wasnt a “counselling session”.
Thankyou for your kind words of support and critique regarding my writing style. Its priceless and very much appreciated.
Swirly 🌻
April 9, 2019 @ 8:51 pm
Thank you for the clarification and I apologise for making an assumption. That is one emotionally intelligent shiatsu masseuse. Also; I love ‘Starlust’!
April 10, 2019 @ 2:52 pm
Dear StarLust
Absolutely no apologies are necessary. It wasn’t my intent to miscommunicate.