SwirlingFire: One Year Blog Anniversary Month

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SwirlingFire

One Year Blog Anniversary Month

The Universe seems to be using my vulnerability against me.

I’ll blame it on The Harvest Moon.

A full moon.

People extolling their own frustrations and dumping them on me.

Others with noticeable mental health issues that are deliberately inflicting their brand of bad attitude 

I’m not certain if I’m an “Empath / intuitive” of some type and I feel and sense far more than others or, I’m an easy target to attack by weak, damaged souls from years of Gaslighting and backing down to avoid violent arguments ?

Whatever the reason, the last 12 months have been a waking hell.  Piercing my mind with fresh instances of suppressed incidents.

Trauma memory recovery has really taken its toll on my looks, health and earning capacity.  Each week seems to enjoy delivering me a brand new battering.

Through mistaken identity and a brief chat, it was later suggested by another tweeter, I should start blogging. September 2019 is the anniversary.  I’m genuinely surprised I’ve continued to write and post my journal style thoughts.  At times, it’s all I had to keep me moving slowly forward.

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The year has flown by. There  are still a few first anniversary type calendar dates I must work past for the future to improve.

“…The Annual cycle of dates that act as reminders is a swine…”

There are two people that have pulled me through some incredibly difficult days and times of “breaking no contact”. To say thankyou is nowhere near enough.  I am forever indebted.

You both know who you are 💕

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Many followers have come and gone, several deliberately unpleasant and some carelessly thoughtless in their questioning/unfounded accusations/responses. 

There were times I did indeed have a hair trigger, where I thought I must reply to others, where my mind had been broken to no longer have healthy thought processes.  It’s been a painful realisation learning the ones you thought cared, in reality despised and hated you, seeking to control with as much damage as possible.

I thank the haters for their bad behaviour. It’s taught me how not to behave.  It also confirmed to start to trust my gut feelings.

A big thank you to MyEditor, Melody (sissymaidmelody) offering to host a blog page for my initial uncontrollable anger and frustration.  Channelling into a semi coherent semblance of clearer thoughts via words.

I would also like to extend my gratitude to Rebel of #WickedWednesday, Floss and May of #F4Thought and SassyCat of #SB4MH.  These site owners not only allowed my work on their sites but, continued to support my journaling work.  Thankyou very much.

In the last 12 months, I have accomplished some good things for myself:

  • Work has had its moments of success – 2 separate national achievement recognitions and awards;
  • Another batch of Therapy;
  • Social Psychology University Course;
  • University Writers Workshop; 
  • #365Words project; 
  • Met two tweeters.  One of whom continues to communicate and didn’t run screaming into the hills  ,)
  • #PromptPrompts – tweet led idea of mine to distract my mind, a prompt word from kindly followers for their own speedy short story;
  • 2 new “things” – I’ll write about these another time.

A genuine heartfelt thank You to each and every one of you that stayed true to yourselves and the kindness shown to me, often when I didn’t deserve it, on the timelines and to those that took the time to not only read my blogs but to comment. 

To be heard and in the main, not judged.  Those small acts of ❤️ hearts and likes and comments, acknowledging my presence helped me so much more than you’ll realise. 

I still have a massive challenge ahead of me  – To find my own inner joy and happiness within safe boundaries.

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Original artwork – @XiannaX

Thankyou

Best wishes

Swirly 🌻

Swirlingfire: A Posting History

@SwirlingFire 16 September 2019

 #WickedWednesday

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