SwirlingFire: Your vibe attracts your tribe ?

….. your vibe attracts your tribe….?

I was asked to submit my thoughts regarding social media – each time I pull my words together, it becomes a cathartic purge & not suitable for publishing.

Each edit processes a cocktail of interwoven memories of online interactions and offline real life, how each time a new occasion arises I then find myself critiquing my reactions/responses.

How do you view social media?
A real life extension of your real self?
A place to play out your alter Ego?
A full character masquerade?
The best way to purge everything you think but can’t say in public?
Something else?

Please share with us.

Such an occasion presented itself recently.

Dragging themselves from the swampy underbelly, a “Twitter Random” spewing unsolicited attacks about a single standing thought. Within minutes, I received a flurry of DMs from many witnesses, confirming this type of their behaviour is very well known & often attacks people without prior interaction.

Have you ever been subject to this type of one sided interaction?
How did you respond?
What did you learn?

I saw it for what it was – covert emotional abuse.

https://www.confusiontoclaritynow.com/blog/what-is-covert-psychological-and-emotional-abuse

It’s far too easy to find allure within the timelines of various threads with multiple branches. It’s also very easy to be fooled by what one thinks they have read. It’s not always as clear and high quality as a Waterford crystal glass. At times it may just be a rusty iron bucket of unwanted odds and sods and spent soil, a few useful green shoots but on the whole, best suited to internal combustion, reworked Into something altogether far more useful and beneficial assigned to the compost heap for rejuvenation – A tiny seed left to grow into a healthy new shoot. It can also be likened to an Anus and an opinion. Everybody has one but it’s not necessarily something to share with any Tom’s Dick.

Social media is very much a melange of great new shoots and tired overused tropes and opinions that are rarely based on fact. Within a platform, accessible to those with a smartphone and Internet connection, strangers are now able to scroll a myriad of newly discovered lifestyles we never knew existed. We can learn about gender, sexuality, kinks, local family events, new food ideas, news, politics, postcode community news Ad infinitum. We also observe the names to trust and certain timelines to avoid, dependant upon Religion, Race, party politics and the new breed of Virtue signallers using # tag commonalities whilst they are in fact, reprehensible damaged characters (my personal experience).

We can’t be personal friends with everyone. It’s not realistic or an intelligent decision from a distanced online only connection. I’ve sadly learned that lesson the hard way.

The Wise are able to sit back, scroll and read all the threads, without jumping into a premeditated/ orchestrated “pile on”.

Social media was a blessing and a curse exactly 12 months ago.  The Covid-19 2020 lockdowns initially started with a genuine fear around the world. We were ripped overnight, away from friends and our daily routines and earning an income. Then the insidious black mist rolled in. Choking the fake kindness away as battle lines were drawn without merit, fact or calm conversation.

We were all locked into a new world coming to terms with losing all that we take for granted, the Nation’s freedom in the UK.

We were In a state of shock, the social media stages of grieving commenced overnight. Watching American news media swinging into action. Claiming thousands of deaths due to political manoeuvres and ignoring the severity of a silent killer.

No cure, almost certain death.

A white cell tsunami that has almost destroyed the first world bricks and mortar commerce & personal lives.

Less developed and medically unprepared countries being hung out to die with little to no PPE. The public and medical staff were cut down in their prime. The death toll steadily climbing. The heavy freight train was running away and no one was exempt from avoiding the collision. We are all in it together, the battle cry of the billionaires, as they scramble to shore up the share prices and property portfolio. Old boy networks procuring new revenue streams.

This is basically how all communities flourish and fail. The “Haves Versus the Have Nots”, either you are IN or you are OUT. In my experience, the IN crowd lords it over the OUT crowd, self imposed titles taken by ego maniacs, the deluded bullies that go unchallenged, in public and, the dangerous that are protected by enablers wearing rose coloured spectacles from an opticians in Barnard Castle, Durham.

The friendships are very different when cloaked under the privacy of DM or with some people, a case of “Grandmothers/Chinese whispers”.

A teeny shred of truth which is amplified differently & repeated out of context to a fourth party. Those we hate to love and those we love to hate.

It’s so easy to insult strangers that have different views than others when joining the timelines, informing fresh young faces to “know (your) place in the pecking order “.

These people forget that whilst they create a fantasy persona online, some of us have met in real life.

Personal friends that were really “manipulationships”

There are those accounts we all know that switch allegiances on the flip of a coin.

SwirlingFire: Gaslighting & Ghosting

Do you have people like this in your past?
Did they treat you well before “ghosting”?
Did you apologise?
Did they?

https://www.confusiontoclaritynow.com/blog/what-is-covert-psychological-and-emotional-abuse

I can’t be friends with liars.

If we are unhappy with ourselves,
we are the only person that has the choice to correct ourselves/our behaviour

it’s damn hard too, it’s a road paved with struggles, lessons and unexpected revelations. It’s the ultimate investment opportunity – or, carry on – remain the Victim of their own twisted narrative fairytale where everyone else is to blame.

https://ohne.com/blog/mindful-matter-getting-the-most-out-of-therapy/

Is social media a huge “big brother” experiment to assess those of us that want to learn, grow, evolve, make better lives for ourselves or is it a very public lesson to identify & avoid the misery guts folk of this world? The ones stuck in old fashioned ways, trapped in loveless situations and punishing those around them for their miserable inability to make their own life better, wreaking havoc with anything animate in their path, so angry with the world.

When will these people acknowledge accountability and responsibility for their behaviours?
Will they ever?
I doubt it.

At times, many People may not have the emotional bandwidth to safely surf the gutters and alleyways that form aspects of the internet. Current media can be traumatising in conjunction with covid restrictions.

When looking someone straight in the eye, we do not laugh at the way they manage bereavement, death of a loved family member, spouse, child or pet, how they handle their grief or trauma, yet on social media, we are all fair game – idiots crawl out from under a rock to tell us how to grieve, how to heal our traumatised bodies, how a rape survivor should behave – according to their ignorant beliefs and how they – without consent, betray confidences shared during acute vulnerability – further violating a survivor.

“….I would go to the authorities with confidential information…”
(Full transcript of actual tweet thread exists)

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/why-its-really-covert-verbal-abuse-when-someone-is-telling-you-how-you-should-feel-dg

Have you been “outed” for any reason based solely from social media activity ?
Were you trolled or harassed ?
What was the reason ?
What did you do ?
What did they do to you ?
How did you take back control ?
Were “The Authorities” /employers/ family contacted ?
How did you fix the breach of trust ?

Now we have the resurgence of “all men, some men, whose man, not my man, it’s most definitely that man! ” – more timeline trauma and truth.  Stories all female presenting people, though not exclusively female victims, of all ages find extremely relatable experiences.  Then whoopsie, “not all men cards” being screamed, from those too busy verbally abusing women online to score points – proving once again, they’re part of the problem not the solutions.  Screaming you’re the good guy usually the proverbial saturated red flag.

Don’t call them trolls, they are disturbed, high functioning chameleons languishing in the laps of luxurious privilege – they thought lockdown was tough? Pffftt!

There are support networks for the genuine when needed. People that will be Non judgemental, listen, resource links provided, guidance of similar pathways travelled to be a shoulder to learn from.

There is so much fresh flesh to impress and to press online, it’s just a numbers game for many dishonourable, the creepy timeline stalkers, the gangs of much older women looking for gossip and control issues, the predators with whom you’re best friends *or not 🤷‍♀️* depending upon the day of the week.  Far worse exists online as in real life.  Recognising #RedFlags is a life lesson paramount for personal safety.

Social media is a cruel Mistress

A Dominatrix for hire when requested

A Master of our destiny if we navigate a different timeline

The Slave to a very unhealthy addiction.

“That’s Twitter for Ya”

The Times (requires subscription)

@Swirlingfire, 22 February 2021