What Do You Mean, You Want To Be Forced ?

That’s the silent question in a domme’s head every time they hear a sub asking for forced-bi or forced-feminisation.

I’d already written most of this post when I came across this post on the blog: Femdom Ramblings from a submissive male it was quite similar in outlook to what I’d already written.

On the face of it it doesn’t seem to be too odd for a sub to be talking about being forced to do something.  After all, it is a commonly expressed fantasy for a sub to want to be under complete control, possibly including a kidnap fantasy, and to be forced in to involuntary behaviour and actions.  Or to be unable to escape having abominable things done to them.

Think about that for a moment.

Ignoring the absurdity of the extreme end of these fantasies, they all have one thing in common.  The horrifying or abominable things that a sub suggests that they be forced to perform are exactly the long list of fetish fantasies that he has masturbated to for years.

Where is the element of force in that ?

A domme may roll her eyes each time she hears that a sub wants to be forced but she understands what he really wants much better than he does.

For the sub, what he wants to be “forced” to do is generally something he considers taboo.  It’s not the social stigma it was, but a male with family and job is rarely going to explore being homosexual or bisexual in the open.  Some may secretly explore the local gay scene but the vast majority will never act on it, letting it remain a nagging curiosity or doubt in the back of their minds.  Similarly, for many, feminisation is completely taboo and yet they can long for the freedom of somewhere to dress without discovery and condemnation.  After all, many dommes have an extensive wardrobe for this purpose, so he doesn’t even need to keep a hidden stash of clothes.

A domme “forcing” them to act it out can be seen as an ideal solution for many reasons.  I find it ironic that subs embarking on this course rarely understand the primary reason for seeking a domme to act out their fantasies.  The domme provides a confessional and most importantly an absolution for these sinful ideas and fantasies.

The environment provided by a domme for a “forced” session is designed to lower the inhibition barriers in the sub.  Someone who he finds attractive and sensual is telling him that it’s ok to have these thoughts and desires and she’s going to “make” him perform some of them.  Primarily she is absolving him of any guilt, transferring the ‘wickedness’ to herself.

The other point about a “forced” session is that it is a safe and discreet environment.  Sucking on a dildo or being taken with a strapon within the confines of a dungeon is a lot safer than exploring the local glory hole.  The significantly reduced risk in combination with absolution from breaking taboos allows the sub to live out his fantasies, even if he still believes that he was “forced” to do it.  At the end of the session he leaves having assuaged his guilty secrets until next time.

Everybody has their own interpretations and limitations so I don’t denigrate anyone getting pleasure out of being able to nurse their soul in private by participating in these games.  I’ve been there many years ago and, damn, they could be a hell of a load of fun.

There’s an enormous amount of very bad porn dedicated to different types of forced activity and behavioural transformation fantasies that acts as a well spring for much of the mis-informed guff you see in forums.  Forums where people can spend their lives fervently hoping from behind the keyboard that someone is for real going to kidnap them and forcibly turn them in to a dumb bimbo hooker (yeah, that’s quite a common one).

What I haven’t been able to do for quite some time is maintain any pretence that I need to be forced in anyway.  To me it has connotations of shame and I’ve stopped apologising for who I am.  Feminisation is now a significant part of me, it doesn’t start and stop at the dungeon door, it just is.  I refuse to be ashamed about it – of course, I try to make sure it doesn’t spill over in to other aspects of life; so call me a hypocrite.  However, barring some fundamental disaster I know that at some point I’ll arrive at an unavoidable decision, in the vernacular it will be “shit or bust”.

I’ve had a few fascinating conversations with the domme on the topic of subs being ‘forced’.  She’s something of an expert in this field and will regularly session with subs needing this and will provide an amazing experience.  It turns out that she’s also rather good at spotting those who don’t need to be forced.  Those where being ‘forced’ during play is a role they don’t need or identify with anymore, though they may not know it themselves initially.

It’s odd being read that adroitly and that quickly about internal longings that are barely acknowledged.

I know that ‘forced’ desires and play are very common, but please forgive me if I roll my eyes and mutter “why do you need to be forced ?”.