Roleplay

Roleplay. Some love it and some hate it, so this week we are asking you for your thoughts and experience. Is it something you use to push your boundaries and explore the kinks you share, or something you have found just doesn’t work for you. Whatever your thoughts on this creative kink, we would love to hear about them. From disasters to successes, to top tips and the perfect props, we want to know all about what you do and how you do it.

I didn’t think I’d be able to write anything on roleplay until I saw the above text for the prompt.  I’d never make it as a panellist on Who’s Line Is It Anyway ?  I may still be traumatised by the ‘drama’ lessons in school around the age of 11 or 12 which was always single or small group improvisation with an added slice of bowel loosening terror.

In vanilla life I’ve never been interested in computer games and roleplay environments, the concept of something like Second Life just leaves me cold.  I never wanted to be involved in dungeons and dragons.  Cosplay and conventions are just the antithesis of my solitary nature.

When I think about it, in kink life roleplay was all that was available when I started.  Braving the online world anyone can be who they want in the anonymity of a chatroom.  I’d say I was very quickly put off general roleplay in that environment by the DM’s that started with “On your knees bitch and get ready to suck my huge dick”.

However, with a basic online affinity and relationship with someone, the only outlet was some form of roleplay.  Of course, I presented with a female name and persona, but you could roleplay anything, right ?

I had the fortune to find someone in that environment where a relationship extended and expanded beyond the basic limitations.  Roleplay with her as mistress could be very fulfilling at the time.  We even managed to meet up for real where I roleplayed the female in evening gown – now I’m not so sure it was roleplay.

The online environment can reinforce so many elements of roleplay because there’s no other outlet.  The “sissy” role in extreme caricature of femininity was a long running theme.  Embarrassing to say that age/baby roleplay was explored, too.

For the longest time it was the only outlet I knew for that vague feeling of needing to be female.  Even the caricature was an acceptable outlet.

Even when I was claimed by a real live flesh domme, the roleplay was still an element in our time together because actual meets were hard to arrange.  She’s the one who named me melody and as I found out many years later it was because she emphatically knew that’s who I was.  It didn’t stop us enjoying the roleplay of “sissy” silks, frills and satins in our time in the dungeon.

By the end of our time as mistress and sub we’d largely outgrown that roleplay.  Those silks and satins a convenient hook to hang a false character on top of what we both knew was real but couldn’t yet work out how to explore.

My current domme knew very quickly that melody was not a role, that she was real.  She also worked out that roleplaying female caricatures in “sissy” mode was counter-productive, if not harmfully holding back melody.  A lot of mental garbage has been junked and as it has been disposed of, the reality of who I am, the kinks and D/s I want to explore has assumed a reality that supersedes any roleplay fantasy.

melody is not a role, my submission is not a role.  Both are deadly serious, though that’s not to say a lot of fun and humour can’t be had.  There’s no roleplay left in melody, anymore.  Her raison d’être is entirely about the reality of who and what she is.  What was fantasy is fast becoming very real.

Written for the #TellMeAbout prompt “Roleplay #10”.  Click on the image to read informative posts from across the D/s spectrum.