The Bon Motto

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When it comes to BDSM I’m more inclined to the principles of RACK than SSC, though either is a vital concept in such relationships for them to be safe(r) and successful.

However, although you may not come across these concepts until moving in BDSM circles they’re really just a restatement of something that should already be intrinsic in how you interact with other people in general.


Formative years are very important in this respect.  We are imbued with rules and guidelines, even trite mottos from schools.  My old (formerly) grammar school had the motto “Lampada Tradere Nostrum Est” (Passing on the torches of learning) which is highly ironic given that they spent five years draining the love of learning out of me with tedium and boredom.

What I do look back on more fondly is the middle school.  It was brand new, so had no pretensions of a latin motto.  Instead it had rules.  Rules don’t mean much to young children, yet the right environment lets them sink in and take fruit later.

I reproduce them here as they’re well worth mulling over

  1. Respect for yourself
  2. Respect for others
  3. Respect for property

Three very simple rules that as I’ve got older have become more profound as a way to comport myself and interact with others.  These rules, in nine words encompass everything that is contained in RACK or SSC and beyond.

When I first came to BDSM, consent was not prominently discussed.  BDSM literature and porn tended to disregard respect for and self-respect by a sub.  I was never comfortable with that and gravitated to people who did show respect and had graceful manners.

As for that middle school, it may have had a formative role beyond imbuing those rules.  Unlike the later grammar school it promoted a culture of curiosity, exploration and learning.  At one point there was a class project on electricity.  One lunch time three of us were being curious, exploring and learning when we managed to blow out the electrics of half the school.

We earned a slippering by the headmaster in front of the whole school – make of that what you will 😂😳