It’s really hard to consider that the activities you enjoy are edge play. You are comfortable embarking on them even though you know how difficult or stressful they can end up being. And yet, the eye of the beholder can be illuminating.
If truth be told, I consider myself a bit of a wimp. It’s the psychology of power exchange that sees me able to even consider going beyond the most minor discomfort. And whilst I know my limits have been massively stretched in recent years, I don’t consider them to be anything special.
All of which has made it a bit disconcerting over the years to receive messages along the lines of “You’re so extreme, I wish I was just like you.” – okay, that’s not a verbatim quote, usually the one handed typing could make them more difficult to decipher.
I do get this once in a while, even today. Especially when I talk about needle play, which is often regarded as edge play, even though I don’t see my own participation in it as such. There are hints of further edge play activities in the future, so I might have to get used to more of these.
However, my first encounter with this form of distance admiration was chastity play. What to us was a natural progression from barely more than a step up from role play to full lifestyle was like submissive fantasy catnip to many others. There was an incredible amount of fantasy projection by others on to what was ‘normal’ life for me. For many, chastity play is about edging as part of tease and denial – true edge play 😂. For me, that was a nice game to play at the time, but as I learned more about my submissive nature it soon felt that these games were not that submissive in their nature.
That’s probably why we so naturally progressed into lifestyle and then permanent chastity. When I look back at that progression I can understand why it could be thought of as extreme, it just never seemed that way to me. Of course, with her “cruel domme” image needing to be maintained, I guess we did play to the gallery by not disabusing them of the notion that she maintained the chastity with a cruel rod. Regular readers will know my antipathy towards physical sex and understand that permanent chastity was done entirely with mutual consent. Is this edge play ? Perhaps if you take a gander at the device we ended up with, then it is – though it did ensure that there was no actual edge play, any more.
I think this is the point where I largely lost interest in the forums. Very few approaching for information were genuine. The majority simply seeking wank material. So full of their own FemDom chastity fantasies that they would never experience for real. I still hate that phrase … “but you’re so extreme”.[Genuine questions are welcome and encouraged.]
Written for #TellMeAbout. Click on the image to read informative posts from across the D/s spectrum.