This post is inspired by a conversation this week with a lovely blogging lady.
I’m speaking of when I grew up. I can’t speak for current generations, but the indications are that the gap in male understanding of females is wider and more unbridgeable than ever.
I grew up very much in isolation, to a degree this is what has made me an observer. Females were totally alien, something put on a pedestal and most of us males brainwashed to the idea of “sugar and spice … etc”. Though I don’t think that was unusual back then. Female classmates for so many years, almost unapproachable. The crush on a friend’s twin sister. Now there was an example of female power and contrariness, she was about 20 minutes older than him and boy could she pull rank.
Boys think their sexual awakening through puberty is one long crude set of boasts, distinctly lacking in subtlety, As I’ve learned over the years, the female awakening through puberty is far more subtle and profound. Whilst it has mystical religious connotations to women it also tends to encompass more crudity and explicit sexuality than any boy can handle. If he knew about it at the time he’d be scared rigid, as he often is when he finally discovers that the objects of demure delight are filthier than his most drunken boasting with his mates.
From the age of 14 I worked in a textile mill on weekends and holidays. The machines were operated by women. This is where the characters of Cissie and Ada by Roy Barraclough and Les Dawson have their genesis. The voices going silent when something delicate and female only being spoken is pure characterisation of generations of mill women. It’s based on the fact that it was too loud to talk over the machines, so they lip read each other through exaggerated mouth movements.
These women could be crude beyond belief to the delicate understanding of any young male. I know of more than one instance where during pre-Christmas celebrations a young manager walking through the factory floor would be raped by these women. I managed to avoid that, but I spent 4 years working there and sure did start to learn that the illusions about women, were just societal delusions. Learning from these things just how the sexual awakening and subsequent fantasies of the female develop totally beyond comprehension for almost any males.
Since I’ve been blogging my reading has expanded to other bloggers. Whilst I can feel a bit of a fraud at being on the fringes of the sex blogger community, I find that there are so many female bloggers out there with fascinating and male intimidating fantasies and points of view about sex and sexuality. I don’t mean deliberate male intimidation, though there are some F/m D/s perspectives, I mean the honesty and force of the female psyche contained in those posts, one that doesn’t give a damn about restraining herself to any silo to which the males in her life might have tried restricting her. Any ‘boy’ coming across those is going to find them intimidation and is liable to either run away and become a monk or run for cover within the male archetype response to such things.
What’s struck me over the years is how difficult it is for most boys to mature. In fact so many never do. And in not maturing they fail to ever grasp the faintest understanding of the female psyche and remain frightened of a female sexuality that’s so alien to them. What they fail to understand, they seek to control and the way that’s been accomplished over 10,000 generations and more, is aggression and violence.
Most men are still boys by the time they die. But what actually turns a boy in to a man ? I don’t think it’s being woke or a male feminist. To me, those positions smack of opportunism – a different strategy for getting sex by sympathy and so many seem to get caught out because they do not actually understand or empathise.
It seems to me that the boy who’s become a man is one who is no longer intimidated by an alien sexuality. He can enjoy it, bathe in it, enhance it and be secure in who he is and how he relates to it. And in his security he’s happy to accommodate and promote those concepts and needs in the female which are still largely alien to him but he knows are important to her.
And in case anyone wonders if I’m assuming my own maturity. I’d just point out that I probably side-step that issue by claiming gender dysphoria … lolol