It was so easy to trap my mind into a continuous loop to revolve around him, his needs and wants, I was excluded.
First text and last text were often ignored, usually because I could see his social media & instantly know he was an habitual liar.
The weekend we had planned to meet. Silent treatment for the week.
Apparently “Daddy had a bad weekend without his phone”
I know, I saw your weekend music festival photos and posts online, I saw all the flirtatious conversations, drooling over extreme niche kink photos, talking with the other women like me. Clueless who you pretended to be.
The one thing that still angers me.
I was too scared to tell him, I saw his posts, I knew his lies, I was accustomed to his Unethical non monogamous (he called himself Poly🙄) disease spreading lies.
I later learned I had been locked into sophisticated mental bondage. I’d occasionally heard his softly soothing tone, words I didn’t understand.
I’ve created mental chains between us. You will always belong to me –
“Woman’s Heart” – @PeteHarju Original Artwork- Commissions welcomed
The main disadvantages of hearing those words spoken with care plus the absence of my consent was the primary damaging effect of being tangled up in his webs. I didn’t have any significant boundaries. Those I did express were dismissed as “childish / not how a submissive respects her dom/you’re being ridiculous”
“Daddy wants up a grown up woman not a silly little girl. Grow Up!” (SMS exists)
Seeing my collar as the avatar on another woman is probably the pinnacle of his cruelty. Once I saw that Twitter photo, I was done. I started “no contact “. The Clever Girl ended their manipulationship within a few months. A litany of #NPD and “Know your Worth” tweets. I envied her ability to see through him and his damaged character so quickly. I can only presume that She had met his type before.
Ghosts of our pasts haunt us without visible scars.
‘I’ve created mental chains between us. You will always belong to me
With enthusiastic consent, followed up with kindness, honesty and respect… these words make me smile. When used with narcissistic intent though, that is very much not OK. N ☕⚘
November 21, 2020 @ 8:56 pm
‘I’ve created mental chains between us. You will always belong to me
With enthusiastic consent, followed up with kindness, honesty and respect… these words make me smile. When used with narcissistic intent though, that is very much not OK. N ☕⚘
November 22, 2020 @ 4:16 pm
If I’m brutally honest with myself. It’s still a struggle.
I never understood RACK/SSC/CNC – I do now.
November 18, 2020 @ 6:44 pm
“Ghosts of our pasts haunt us without visible scars.”
This is so true. Sadly, so very true.
~ Marie
November 18, 2020 @ 7:04 pm
It was a comment from SassySubDaily in a different blog that inspired me to write that line.
Yes, sad but true