I saw the idea to write daily via a semi pro writer/tweeter.
It was to write 365 words everyday. I bent the directive to help maintain focus.
I call it my #365Words.
As I attempted the first few days, I found I had started to write prose, sometimes loosely rhyming, yet not a specific rhyming couplets style. I use it as an exercise, following a recent “Creative Writing Course” to see where the course contents and my thoughts take me.
In June 2019 – when I started writing daily – social media, Twitter pals’ with their sometimes insensitive approaches, others’ blog post content and mainstream news outlets had been rife with reported sexual assaults discrediting Rape Survivors. The #MeToo age was in the forefront. People were judging others without accurate facts. Women were insidious to other women online referencing news/court cases.
The overload of online information was possibly pushing me to breaking point.
Whilst using photo prompts and learning to write a cheerful piece, at the most unlikely of times – I experienced a full flashback.
The following content is exactly what happened at that moment in time. It was like my hand was forced into automatic writing on the iPad.
The initial paragraphs are based on my conscious thoughts with the photo, what happened, without warning, can only be flagged as
Contains references to Violent Sexual Assault
Please take good care of yourselves with the following words, if you choose to continue.
Blinding and bright
The warmth gently relaxing and calming furrowed brows
Eyes shielded in large framed sunnies beneath an outback leather hat,
Protection from the elements
Cool to the touch, chilled not iced
The humidity quickly changed the opacity of the container.
The sound of chipped ice was gently soothing against the noise inside my head.
Shopping list, errands and planning all clinking together.
The straw, a bright cherry red, met resistance against the contents.
A delicious colour palette of not quite orange and not quite yellow
Tropical colours with a tropical name,
I forgot its name as soon as I heard it,
That’s how it works nowadays
In and immediately lost
Or lodged and swirled and toyed and turned with all the other word portals
Words come and go
There are thoughts that stay
They find the tiniest of cracks and wedge themselves inside
Like bindweed, at first pretty coloured flowers, soon , they stick and become embedded, noxious toxic signposts.
All the words I chose to dismiss at the time.
Now those sentences return,
Fully formed and heavy with morning dew
Big bulbous pods
Waiting to burst open
Flinging their contents deeper into conscious form
Sticky seeds clinging and gripping until they become unbearable
Cool green fronds unfurl delicately
Just as one thinks a pleasant comment is coming,
The words snap like the sting of a cane
Deep unexpected words spat with
bitterness and cruelty
Pinned to the spot
Unable to breathe from the pain deep inside
Milliseconds suspended in time
All that can be heard is the blood rushing inside the ears
Heart thumping so loud
Convinced it will explode
Muscles contracting to fight back
Brain is no longer connected to the physical plane
Psyche breaks free
Making lists of details
A mouth that talks
I hear nothing
I feel nothing
I see all.
What seems like forever
Was probably no more than 60 seconds
without the struggle
To break free
Confused is NO
It translates to YES
Kicking and struggling
Drowning in fibre
The ache inside builds into crippling pain.
@Swirlingfire, 27 June 2019