I wrote a few days ago on the sudden decision to wear heeled boots to work (Little Steps for Big Steps). Really I’d love to be able to wear court shoes with 4″ stilettos but that’s not going to happen any time soon.
There’s quite a few things now where an aspect of melody rounds off the male edges with feminine attire and trappings and no one seems to notice.
It was a snap decision on the Monday morning and I told myself that I needed to know that I could indeed wear high heels for the whole day in a real outside environment. But why would I do that ? It was like a growing compulsion and the final decision to go ahead was so easy, so devoid of angst and drama that it almost slipped me by in it’s significance.
The day itself was innocuous enough, no stress, palpitations or panic, that I decided to wear them again on the Tuesday.
There’s a line of thought that the God’s are senile and they’re just messing with us. Sometimes it’s a theory hard to dismiss.
Tuesday felt good in heels – then the fire alarm went off. Our top floor office is, barring one female exclusively male which is why the changes in my style and attire don’t register. The bottom two floors are majority female. Walking down the stairs, merging with the streams coming from the lower floors I felt the female eyes clocking the heels. On we walked in the crowd to the assembly points. Me out there in public feeling the glancing looks, in heels, in a way I’d never envisaged when I left the house that morning.
And what has this to do with my journey through hypnosis ? If you hadn’t noticed, re-read the above. Where does it say that I was panicking, my heart in palpitations and feeling sick ? It doesn’t, but it damn well should have.
It was this aspect that really struck me. I was calm, not worried who noticed. I was slightly apprehensive about being challenged – even now, I don’t have a concocted story. I just don’t seem to care what anybody thinks about something like this.
This attitude would not be possible without the hypnosis and it’s one of those subtle effects that’s worked deep for a very long time before coming to the surface in a very strong way.
Of course, in the hypnosis session at the end of the previous week she didn’t say anything like “go wear heels in public”. That’s the sort of thing the sub-conscious would flag. The long term effects of encouraging melody are in play here. Suggesting that it’s comfortable, even natural for some aspects of melody to grow and be on display.
This is not the sort of hypnosis play that makes me cringe when I come across it – the play on a sissy’s desire for being humiliated by looking outrageous in public. No, it’s a long subtle encouragement to “be melody” bearing fruit. And “being melody” is about being comfortable in my skin. I’m not going anywhere I wouldn’t have previously dreamed of.
Some of those dreams would have been unrealisable fantasies not too long ago. As fantasies become remote possibilities the fear of realising them can take a vice grip.
Somehow, without me noticing through all the previous progressions of melody being overt, she’s given me the tools to not just cope, but to embrace and enjoy these moments. You might say that the other things were explainable if challenged and as such less potential for anxiety. 4″ heels are not explainable and the anxiety levels should have been through the roof.
She’s always encouraged melody within her hypnosis, it’s not a command and barely even a suggestion. When melody wants to progress and my sub-conscious knows I’m ready, all that subtle encouragement she’s programmed takes effect and sees me through with strength I didn’t know was there.
I ended up wearing the boots on Friday, too. And it seems that I’ll wear heels in boot form a couple of days each week from now on.
Which made the sale on JustFab of boots for £20 a pair irresistible. Four new pairs ready for daily wear. And for those asking, here’s the pictures.
Previous posts in this series:
- A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 1
- A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 2, The Sub-Conscious
- A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 3, Whose Thoughts Are They ?
- A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 4, Where’s the Oblivion Switch ?
- A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 5, Crumbling Barriers