Reading Time: 4 minutes
Hanging in the Balance June 2019 – That was a bitch of a month. It’s been a while since I’ve had the strange tummy twirling. I guess other people call them “butterflies” – it feels more thuddy than the usual ‘excited / nerves’ sensations. I thought it was possibly hunger but, I think we both […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Crazy It all started as a throw away comment with a giffage war in DM. A private nickname. The style in which it was presented was with good grace and was taken with good grace as, no doubt, I’d done or said something daft. It happens a lot. I get the silly giggles and do […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Betrayal A weird feeling in the pit of my stomach It’s not anxiety It’s different It feels like it’s attached Deep inside my core. I thought at first I needed more water to drink, The trembling of dehydration in soaring temperatures That moment before The room goes silent You feel as though you’re about to […]
Reading Time: 5 minutes
It’s Definitely YOUR Fault CONTENT NOTICE References to: Rape, Sexual assault When reading blogs from professionally paid writers one expects a certain level of responsibility, regardless of personal views. Albeit, their views delivered in a palatable, sensibly reasoned way. A few days ago I read a blog from a very well known name. It’s been Retweeted […]
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Survive: Part 2 [Part one of @SwirlingFire’s survival guide is here: Survive – Part 1]
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Survive How to survive:- Wake up every morning but you wish you hadn’t Make a morning coffee and sit quietly contemplating what horrors will be reactivated inside ones mind Start the process of slipping back into auto pilot to care for #Mothership Navigate around the home without falling apart into a tearful sobbing mess so […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Judgemental vs Moral Compass A fire is burning so strong inside me that I’m struggling to extinguish the growing flames. I’m unable to direct the heat to those that should hear my words.
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Laughter, Tears, Twisted Thoughts and Fears Current status: sat in coffee shop reviewing Wicked Wednesday entries for prompt 365 -Laughter Laughing and giggling with an almost four year old and his little brother Charlie. The innocence of childhood in an apparent happy family unit. Both little boys were animated in their conversation with me, from […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
#WickedWednesday Prompt #365 – Laughter This Shirley temple giggle gif is probably the one I’m known for using most frequently – when I’ve genuinely giggled with a tweet thread. Extract: During a laugh, respiration, heart rate and blood pressure temporarily rise. This causes oxygen to surge through the bloodstream that then results in lower blood […]
Reading Time: 7 minutes
The Request I’ve never made a secret of my introduction into the depraved and darkly delicious addictive ways of a malevolent dom of shady intentions. I think I’ve written more than thirty blogs about the ways I was manipulated and coerced into a non-consensual D/s “affair” – which, upon reflection can be termed as “CNC”. […]
Reading Time: 7 minutes
Ignite Emotional abusers within the BDSM community are moving amongst us. They’re well known yet continue to “operate” shielded by sycophants. Often known as an “enabler” DM conversations have repeated the same names. Over and over again. Some of my online experiences (I’ll take 50%) have been through misunderstandings. Mine and theirs. I don’t give offence, it’s […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Gaslighting & Ghosting 7 Stages of Gaslighting in a Relationship The term originates from the Film ‘Fanny by Gaslight’ – A charming and handsome man with a dastardly past exploits his knowledge of her family history to manipulate an innocent young woman.
Reading Time: 6 minutes
Clique Bait I’ve been thinking about the way I express myself quite a lot lately. Especially in the speedy way that Twitter makes my mind race too fast. I’ve mentioned in the past that what passes for my extremely dry/gallows/friendly sarcasm in real life is greatly skewed in typed form. Intonation, giggle, smiles and […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Reflections Part 2 – Exposed Married lovers ? Non Consensual non monogamous relationships Poly with multiple partners that other partners don’t know you’re Involved with but really should? Untreated STI Lying about sexual health Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase) Non disclosure of marital […]
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CONTENT WARNING Mild references to Gaslighting Mild references to Sexual Assault “….. How will you re-engage with counselling ? You have a shit load to say now ! …..”
Reading Time: 5 minutes
Reflection When we, okay I, think of blogging, I always think of the romantic frothy persona created by Carrie Bradshaw – the lead character from ‘sex and the City’ all those years ago. The truth is my life is nothing like hers apart from one (two if you count luxury footwear) major similarity. […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Circle of Flames Something has been playing on my mind for quite some time. Boundaries. I realise I’ve never had many or as I’m beginning to accept – any. On early arrival onto Twitter somebody during the course of a DM conversation used the term ‘people pleaser’. The descriptions certainly echoed many things […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon. As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me. Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually […]
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Toxic Masculinity At times I’m told I’m too honest for my own good. In the workplace, mainly men led, I’m strong, capable and a ‘feisty little thing’. Although not always welcomed positively, my direction brings rapid results and successful conclusions. “Not bad for a girl. Well done !” Swirlingfire: A Posting History […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Mentor When I first starting spending time with mindWizard I had no idea what my kinks were or how to articulate themes. I would get phases of him sending perfect bodied adults in typical B&W photos/gif. Not once did I knowingly consent to any other activity except OTK […]