Category Archives: Personal

There’s Room for Two: Sharing with SwirlingFire

If you’ve passed by here in the last month or so you’ll have noticed that there’s another voice sharing my blog space. I must admit that the momentum leading up to offering to publish someone else’s thoughts took me by surprise.

Am I That Different ?

Chatting with someone the other evening, they hit me with this:- You have an intelligent eloquent style of writing that’s different to other cd/sissy / masochist/exploratory

Emotional Content

That’s part of a famous line uttered by Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. If there’s one thing that makes melody easier to identify in the swings and roundabouts of daily life it is in the expression of emotions. Emotion and me have had a rocky relationship over the years.  We kind of gave up on each other… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 7, To Surrender Is To Win

I have an unexpected quiet day which gives me some leisure to put a few things in better and broader context.  The last brainwashing and hypnosis sessions have had effects that I’m still processing and learning.  On the back of a fresh foundation of submission, service and obedience driven deeper than ever in the brainwashing, the following hypnosis… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 6, Don’t Panic

I wrote a few days ago on the sudden decision to wear heeled boots to work (Little Steps for Big Steps).  Really I’d love to be able to wear court shoes with 4″ stilettos but that’s not going to happen any time soon. There’s quite a few things now where an aspect of melody rounds off the male… Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 5, Crumbling Barriers

There’s a common wish fulfilment myth about hypnosis that at the swing of a watch or the snap of a finger that you can be instantly made into somebody or something new.  For someone who is struggling this seems to be a deceptively simple solution to all their problems.  Instead it can seriously add to the problems.

Little Steps for Big Steps

So melody, you say you can wear 4″ heels all day.  How true is that, really ?

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 4, Where’s the Oblivion Switch ?

Continuing with this occasional series, I thought I’d touch on one of my strange perceptions from within the tranced state. 

Losing One’s Roots

Where do you come from ?  Who are your people, your family ? How else do we find an anchor to place ourselves within the turbulent streams of time ? 

The Chrysalis

It’s all about life’s energies.

Changing Priorities

Sometimes I have a stream of consciousness that expresses itself over many months.  Things that fill the mind in the small hours of sleeplessness.  Quite amazing the personal thoughts that end up here as if this was actually a totally private space.

Educating Innocence

It’s now a lost part of London, back then it was a simple forgotten backwater.  I loved the area when I visited.  R had a pokey little flat on the south side of the river, just a bit down stream from Woolwhich.  The view from the lounge was surprisingly magnificent, looking over towards the City Airport with the… Read More »

What’s in a Name ? Suggestions ?

What’s in a name ? Rather a lot, actually.  In an environment where you’re unlikely to see or meet the people you interact with, the name is your brand, your USP.

Thoughts from a Disturbing Picture

The @WhoresofYore account is a treasure trove, combining current sex worker advocacy with fascinating historical context and downright curiosities. She posted this curiosity of a picture which has all sorts of interesting things in it for my own darker kinks, fetishes and desires.

The Last Illusion

Love – the last illusion of the illusionless man This quote is from the very end of Le Carre’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.  First read in my teen years, I always considered it rather profound.  As the years have gone by I’m not so sure that I know what it means now.

Self Indulgent Post – II

Today is a poignant day. Five years ago today I got the 5 am phone call to say that my mother had died.  By itself that was not a surprise, the end had been inevitable for some time. 

Nodal Involvement

The other weekend was a trip to Glyndebourne with the former mistress.  As well as lots of good food, the Glyndebourne experience (the opera was hit and miss, but this post isn’t a review) and too much alcohol late in to the nights, it was also a time for deep conversation. I must admit that this is an… Read More »

Solitary Isn’t Lonely

Before diving in to this one I must state that the post title means me and only me.  I’m well aware that many people struggle with loneliness and it can manifest as much in a crowd of people as it can in being alone.  They have my sympathies for something that can be very debilitating.

Colour, Style & Image. A Work In Progress.

You read something and it sets off a train of thought and sometimes if you think hard enough it leads to a just a little bit more understanding of your own outlook.

An Apology To (some) Doms

My knowledge and experience of male doms is limited and coloured from the past.