Category Archives: Personal

A Squalid Ocean of Abuse – The Sissy

A few weeks back I wrote a post on clearing out the last of the mental garbage associated with the ‘sissy’ label. Around about that time there was a very good post by furcissy analysing the over broad usage of this label in confusing and pejorative ways.  It’s a good piece, providing some insights in to the extensive behaviours and… Read More »

The Making (and Breaking) of a Chastity Sub

I recently published a post Consent & Contracts on how contracts in D/s can at best blur the issues of consent and at worst lead to abuse. When I wrote it I had in mind to write a separate post relating how I migrated from the world of fantasy in to a full blown real chastity D/s relationship, which included… Read More »

The Personal Pronouns Quagmire

I find this an odd topic to contemplate on a personal level.  I can read articles from people who are very aware of their preferred pronouns and I’ve come to understand why this is an important issue to them.  Having said that, as the combined entity of him and her I am starting to have a strange relationship… Read More »

Memories of a Special Person

I thought it time to write of the first domme I knew in the flesh as there’s an unexpected twist to the tale.

What Does It Mean To Be Normal ?

I’ve seen posts with many variations of this theme.  People asking themselves if they are normal or perceived as normal.  Indeed, what is normal ?  Obviously, I’ve asked the same questions of myself over the years. I think the question pre-supposes a certain level of self-awareness.  If you never question elements of your own make up in comparison… Read More »

Suckered by Labels, Again.

I’ve been suckered by labels again.  Just when I thought I’d cleaned out the last of them, hubris brings me back to earth.

Can You Repair a Broken Soul ?

The break up wasn’t a break up in the traditional sense.  No drama, no acrimony.  Simply a flow from one state to another.  In the first state she was an active domme and in the second, she wasn’t.  In the first state I was her sub, in the second, a close friend.  

All Done In The Best Possible Taste

Melody can be a right pain in the arse, she’s inherited a trait from the male side and made an art form of it.

The Dark Side of Humanity is Darker Than Ever

This post is not about D/s nor is it funny.  It’s about being angry at a re-awakening to the dark, vicious and sick side of humanity.  Please move on if you’re looking to be amused.  This is not an easy post.

What Do You Mean, You Want To Be Forced ?

That’s the silent question in a domme’s head every time they hear a sub asking for forced-bi or forced-feminisation.

Gender Fluid Identity

For most of my life I’ve asked questions of myself regarding sexuality and gender.  I have to admit that for many years I never really understood they were separate questions.  Some 25+ years ago I got my first access to the Internet and started to find some answers that I could quite happily live with.

A Letter to my 16 Year Old Self

It’s a bit of a fad, so I thought I’d give it a go. Dear M, You won’t recognise me, though I recognise you all too well.

How Do I Know melody is Real ? – Emotions

How real is melody ?  It’s a question I’ve asked myself for years.  In past years the answer would come back that she’s not very real, though her presence might explain some odd quirks of behaviour or feelings that are abnormal for the general personality. In more recent times with the encouragement of hypnosis, she is most definitely… Read More »

MELODY’S STORY – part 3, hypnosis in BDSM

This post was originally posted on 20/02/2018 as the last of three guest posts on the PainAsPleasure blog by BibulousOne.  He saw something and encouraged melody to write.  From those small beginnings I’ve graduated to running my own blog. The post can be found at MELODY’S STORY – part 3, hypnosis in BDSM but is reproduced here in it’s entirety.

Self-Indulgent Post.

This is not my usual fare, it’s something of a self indulgence. Today would have been my mother’s 78th birthday.  She was born in South London a matter of weeks before the Luftwaffe started dropping bombs on London. 

MELODY’S STORY – part 2 – chastity

This post was originally posted on 27/01/2018 as the second of three guest posts on the PainAsPleasure blog by BibulousOne.  He saw something and encouraged melody to write.  From those small beginnings I’ve graduated to running my own blog. The post can be found at MELODY’S STORY – part 2 – chastity but is reproduced here in it’s entirety.

MELODY’S STORY, PART 1 – submission

This post was originally posted on 2/01/2018 as the first of three guest posts on the PainAsPleasure blog by BibulousOne.  He saw something and encouraged melody to write.  From those small beginnings I’ve graduated to running my own blog. The post can be found at MELODY’s STORY, PART 1 – Submission but is reproduced here in it’s entirety.

This Is Not The Domme You Are Looking For

I see some useful blogs and Twitter threads go by providing advice in how to approach and behave towards a domme.  Or how the newly (and not so newly) curious might take the first steps to seeing their dreams and fantasies be played out in reality. This post looks at some of the same things but from a… Read More »

The Bitter Sweetness of the End

The scene is set in The Grand Hotel in Brighton.  The elegant sweeping staircase leading up from the plush and busy lobby.  The rooms and the rest of the hotel hiding incipient shabbiness by playing on appealing through the quaintness of history and tradition rather than modern facilities.

Melody: A Compulsive Shoe Shopper

Heels, they’ve been a fetish since I was very young.   These things grab us, stick in the mind until one day they surface with the desire to explore that fetish.