Category Archives: Personal

Changing Priorities

Sometimes I have a stream of consciousness that expresses itself over many months.  Things that fill the mind in the small hours of sleeplessness.  Quite amazing the personal thoughts that end up here as if this was actually a totally private space.

Educating Innocence

It’s now a lost part of London, back then it was a simple forgotten backwater.  I loved the area when I visited.  R had a pokey little flat on the south side of the river, just a bit down stream from Woolwhich.  The view from the lounge was surprisingly magnificent, looking over towards the City Airport with the… Read More »

The Last Illusion

Love – the last illusion of the illusionless man This quote is from the very end of Le Carre’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.  First read in my teen years, I always considered it rather profound.  As the years have gone by I’m not so sure that I know what it means now.

Self Indulgent Post – II

Today is a poignant day. Five years ago today I got the 5 am phone call to say that my mother had died.  By itself that was not a surprise, the end had been inevitable for some time. 

Nodal Involvement

The other weekend was a trip to Glyndebourne with the former mistress.  As well as lots of good food, the Glyndebourne experience (the opera was hit and miss, but this post isn’t a review) and too much alcohol late in to the nights, it was also a time for deep conversation. I must admit that this is an… Read More »

Solitary Isn’t Lonely

Before diving in to this one I must state that the post title means me and only me.  I’m well aware that many people struggle with loneliness and it can manifest as much in a crowd of people as it can in being alone.  They have my sympathies for something that can be very debilitating.

The Leisure of Slow Bondage

I love bondage, confinement and sensory deprivation.  The tighter the bondage, the greater the feelings of restraint and there are so many variations in how it can be implemented. When it comes to canes, whips and other means of inflicting pain and raising endorphins the mind is very focused on dealing with the immediacy of the pain and… Read More »

Wish Fulfilment vs Reality

I was ruminating on a variation of that old perennial of what would one do if one had the money to be free of the usual responsibilities.  Where my mind turned to was that this was a form of fantasy wish fulfilment.  Some of those wishes may be grounded in some reality but are generally unobtainable for now.… Read More »

Funny He Never Married

The late 1960’s comedy had lots of great television and radio performers revolving through lots of different programs.  For that reason I had to look up where this sketch came from.  It’s actually from “It’s Marty”, performed by Marty Feldman and Tim Brooke-Taylor. What brought it to mind this time was a telephone call with the father.  Any… Read More »

The Sexuality Question

That late teen rite of passage, the first visits to a nightclub.  I’ve no fond memories of it.  I recall migrating to a dark corner nursing a pint glass and surveying what was going on around me.  The deafening sound system, the delight in abandon so apparent in everyone, the drinking to oblivion.