Colour Coordination

Generally I hate the thought of posting something self-indulgent.  Then once in a while I think, what the hell, this is my blog. Over recent months melody has become primary enough to be out and about in public.  Yesterday was a long trip to the dungeon, which means stops at service stations and being exposed to the public. … Read More »

Judgement

“I can’t believe you did that !!” My first words in over an hour, though they had been silently going around my head as I left the artist to her work. “What ?  You mean beating lumps out of your arse followed by needles ?” “Yeah, that” Impact play and needles are both major endorphin generators.  When she’s… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Silent Scream

Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon.  As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me.  Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually very good at… Read More »

Castration Fetish

Content Warning NSFW cartoon of FemDom castration (at the end) This post can be blamed on @PosyChurchgate.  She commented on my Asexuality post and made the mistake of asking me to expand on castration fetish. It’s the sort of topic that elicits sniggers and winces and yet, surprisingly, it also garners more quiet interest than you might think. … Read More »

A Personal Journey Through D/s Hypnosis – Part 10, You Do It To Yourself

Hypnosis – You do it to yourself. The sub-conscious acts on the suggestions it wants to, those compatible with its desires and fantasies.  The hypnotist can’t make you want incompatible things, but they can manipulate the intensity of your desire to facilitate their suggestions for things you knowingly and unknowingly want, lowering barriers to adoption and implementation. The… Read More »

Reflections

I wasn’t going to acknowledge Mother’s Day, certainly not publicly, until I started seeing various tweets go by.  It struck me just how difficult a day it can be for a lot of people.  There’s an additional poignancy for me in that tomorrow would have been her birthday, too. It’s not that I’ve ignored this sort of remembrance,… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Toxic Masculinity

  Toxic Masculinity At times I’m told I’m too honest for my own good. In the workplace, mainly men led, I’m strong, capable and a ‘feisty little thing’. Although not always welcomed positively, my direction brings rapid results and successful conclusions. “Not bad for a girl. Well done !”     Swirlingfire: A Posting History @Swirlingfire, 30 March… Read More »

Faith

Today’s #StoryIn12 word prompt had me thinking on some old thoughts.  The word was Faith. The human psyche has a very definite religious need.  Yes, modern western society tends to regard itself as increasingly secular with regard to the major religions, yet the same people decrying the ‘gullibility’ of the religiously inclined are often those most involved with… Read More »

Random Acceptance

For about 8 months I’ve been waiting for a certain conversation.  Originally dreading the thought of it.  Since Christmas it’s been more of a curiosity in the back of my mind as to what it would feel like.

SwirlingFire: Mentor

  CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Mentor When I first starting spending time with mindWizard I had no idea what my kinks were or how to articulate themes.  I would get phases of him sending perfect bodied adults in typical B&W photos/gif. Not once did I knowingly consent to any other activity except OTK spanking.  In agreeing… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Burn

CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Burn I’m feeling extremely fragile today. This morning a light bulb moment not only flashed, it also shattered. It all started reading a wonderful post via ‘ Floss does life ‘ about humiliation / degradation and how it plays out in scenes for both the Top and the Bottom.  That blog was nothing… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Pyrric Victory

200 Days No Contact I’m surprised that I’ve managed to get to a landmark number of zero contact with the mindWizard. It’s been really difficult to not turn to him regularly when I needed to talk about my mental health – ironically the issues he caused with his Narcissist ways. For those of you struggling not to text… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Hey Swirly …. Read This !

CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Sexual Assault Recovery Rape References – no details Mental Health Emotional Abuse A kindly DM from a follower recommending I read a blog post.  I was cautious as I generally disregard bloggers that refuse point blank or rarely use CW on any of their posts. I read the piece after being assured it was… Read More »

melody The Socialite

Whether it’s D/s or manifestations of gender dysphoria it’s safe to say that I’ve been tightly locked in the closet for most of my life.  When the important parts of my life were career and social/family it was terrifying to consider putting any of that in jeopardy to cater for some nagging black thoughts in the very back… Read More »

Parallel Lives

What we perceive to be parallel lines, aren’t.  My technical brain can envisage two things side-by-side going on forever.  The science of perspective tells me I can never actually see this.  The vanishing point in a picture is something to cause wonder.  The works of Vermeer are a wonderful example of putting the parallel in perspective. For myself,… Read More »

SwirlingFire: Vesuvius

I feel myself slipping back into old patterns.   It’s very difficult to understand if you’ve improved yourself when so much time is spent alone.  Devoid of meaningful personal contact and care of friends/lovers it’s very subjective isn’t it ? For example – I much preferred living in sweet sweet denial when I thought all men behaved a certain… Read More »

Assignment Failure

I looked at this week’s prompt for #WickedWednesday of “fear” and thought it would be a good topic. After 4 or 5 abortive attempts I find that I can’t write on it. I’ve failed in the original intent, but I think the abrupt change in direction leaves what’s left as more valid than what I first had on… Read More »