Reading Time: 4 minutes
Sat in my office that Tuesday afternoon I heard a bubble of noise to look at the news. Confused as it was, the scenes were horrifying. A plane had flown in to one of the towers of the WTC. Back then no one’s first conclusion was terrorism, we must be witnessing a terrible accident. […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Assessment & Swirling Twirls I need more therapy. There. I said it. Cue eye rolling and yawns for those that think I should’ve been locked up in a facility with my mouth taped shut a long time ago. It’s easier to know one needs counselling than to actively search for someone qualified without agenda to […]
Reading Time: 7 minutes
I know many people who like, even need, a soundtrack to their daily lives. It’s not something I can do. I’ve always had an aversion to loud noise and more recently I have developed misophonia, which means that although the worst are ‘people noises’, any background noise has the potential to cause migraines, you’ll […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Nightmares and Dreams Ahhh the innocent days of making a wish on the Blue Moon, so many years ago, a once in a lifetime opportunity. Taking an enormous gamble. The risk of a lifetime. Facts, truth and information unknown. A seductive mystery A distinguished mastery A deception Moon madness That one wish that broke me […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
I hoped I’d feel so much better to have a goal and exceed it. I don’t feel its much of an achievement. I hurt as much today as I did 365 days ago. The only difference? 99% of it was not about me 1% – Me, believing the lies. I was brainwashed by an expert […]
Reading Time: 8 minutes
Content Notice #Gender Dysphoria #Depression #Anxiety #Suicidal thoughts
Reading Time: 2 minutes
The Core One step forward Feeling brave Finding A voice They think she’s a fool Learning starting The knave raising defences boundaries to make People around her Notice sigh “Fake” Eye rolls The mocking Waiting for signs Told you She’ll turn Static and flywheel No middle gears Hurting lonely No one around The heart breaking […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
You might call this weekend a labour of love with lots of added nostalgia. Over five years ago my former Mistress (P) stopped being a domme. She became a pro-domme after her online business went down the pan due to Chinese fakes flooding the market. It never really suited her as the difference between […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The “Why?” Of blogging I’m forever trying to figure out what I’ve done in this life to attract abusive, malevolent, intrusive, selfish, violent – verbal, physical and bullying – behaviour from two faced judgemental “perfect” people. It still continues, without direct contact – unprovoked. There will be more exploratory blogs of processing that will be […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
I write. For work I’ve written dry technical documents for far too many years. It’s a feature of the tech world that when someone has spent long enough at the coal face such that they’re quite valuable in that role, they get set to writing documents and specifications about it. The ability to spell […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Someone suggested that this should be the title if I ever wrote a book on my travels through D/s and kink. It’s a flippant title that has a serious message within it.
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Rituals and Memories It’s the way I tell ’em – Frank Carson, Comedian I like my life to be structured, ordered and in manageable sized tasks. It’s the best way I can handle all facets of external Influences without becoming overwhelmed and not losing my cool. My daily rituals are tweaked, trialled, tested and usually […]
Reading Time: 6 minutes
Too many posts of a more serious nature recently, it’s time to talk of some more fun things. Perhaps you might call this my primary fetish – the original sin, as it were. I have been fascinated by high heels and women’s shoes for as long as I can remember. Some speculation is that […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
You’re Worthless So I Subtweet I won’t ever ask you questions I won’t communicate Or share My thoughts With you, I’m too cowardly. I tell My friends about you. I make incorrect assumptions about you and your words, to mock you and your pathetic life. I know nothing about you I never read your blogs. I […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Hero Is The Villain My mind is awash with swirling thoughts crashing into each other and not having anywhere to safely stow them whilst I’m processing the dozen other thoughts that were already crashing together inside my head. Sensory overload is a documented state. Only once my thoughts have calmed down to a gentler slower […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
It’s been a while since my last post in this series. I thought I would discuss a different facet – Amnesia.
Reading Time: 2 minutes
It’s that time again. I went back to read what I wrote this time last year. This year there is one more year of melody getting stronger and having her own perspective. This adds a different poignancy in that following the ‘outing’ conversation with my father it was clear that the same conversation if […]
Reading Time: 5 minutes
Colour Me Stupid The #F4TFriday prompt #111 asks for words to live by: “Not my circus, Not my (flying) Monkeys” For the most part, I don’t have many happy memories as they occurred either side of something unpleasant imprinted in my mind. Sadly the good parts were blocked along with any unpleasantness. There are […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
In a different frame of mind this post could have been for the #F4TFriday #110 prompt of Taboo. Content Notice Needle Play Pictures In the original Twitter thread about what is Taboo ? There were a few references to medical play, including needle play. For those unable to proceed here’s a picture of kittens […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Let’s face it, the majority of the words we live by are given to us, with varying degrees of force, by people who want to control us, make us conform to their concepts of how we should live. They are thrown at us all our lives, if we let them.