Day 93 – No Contact I’ve felt weak many times but resisted the strong pull to message. It wasn’t easy but I’ve stayed strong. This is the longest time period I’ve ever known without any form of contact from him. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good but drained. My block booking work shift… Read More »
This time I’m going all the way back to the time when I discovered Mrs Silks chat room and held my nerve long enough to stay there. It’s a time that can’t be disentangled from E and the effects she had on my development. Over a long period of years there were many downs alongside the ups which… Read More »
One thing that periodically comes to haunt me are the thoughts about dark cravings and desires. For me, there are two distinct types of darkness that can inhabit the nastier recesses of my mind
There’s a right of passage when the 18th birthday is looming. It’s time to swagger up to the door of the local night club and attempt to get in without being quizzed. Back then they weren’t bothered about underage drinking so long as it wasn’t too obvious. So having found myself inside the den of pleasure it all… Read More »
My earliest learnt form of “Self Defence” was displayed as “Verbal Attack” It’s taking time to release old patterns. Please have patience with me until a new and better service is available & powered by fresh beginnings This post started as a tweet. My attention had been drawn to a tweet of mine on a… Read More »
It struck me as an unusual prompt. However, in usual Swirly fashion thoughts came thick and fast and locked my phone keyboard at the speed I was trying to write all my firing synaptic connections and word catalytic converters into more blog post ideas. Unfortunately the ideas hit me right in the midst of an… Read More »
Emotions !! I fear it’s a topic I will return to again and again. Emotional responses are my clearest means to understanding the flux of melody being in the ascendant. There is an “I” composed of “him” and “melody” along a spectrum. For the longest time it was comprised almost entirely of “him”. To the extent that it’s… Read More »
It’s a familiar thing these days. Pull up in the supermarket car park in the crisp early morning and there’s a gang there in overalls and green jackets. You’re going to have to run the gauntlet of the very un-British thing of being asked a direct question by a stranger. It’s as bad as the bus or the… Read More »
Submission, what is it ?? We all have our own ideas and definitions. One of them being that it is giving up “control” to someone else. One of the most commonly expressed sub fantasies is to give up control, hand over total control. It’s the root for “I’ll do anything you want, mistress’, the time waster’s mantra.
Voice Control Swirlingfire: A history @Swirlingfire, 7 November 2018
Who can remember hiding under the bed sheets trying to tune in a transistor radio ? For some it would have been Radio Luxembourg, for me more likely to be a football commentary from across the continent. Keeping a medium wave station in sync was an art form. Forty-five years later I sometimes think that we haven’t really… Read More »
Editor’s Note: I’ve been hosting posts from SwirlingFire for about 6 weeks now and not since that first introduction have I added words around what she’s written. When I saw the draft of this post I knew I would have to add something. Reading it brought out all sorts of emotions in me that I rather assumed I… Read More »
If you’ve passed by here in the last month or so you’ll have noticed that there’s another voice sharing my blog space. I must admit that the momentum leading up to offering to publish someone else’s thoughts took me by surprise.
Friendships Do friendships have a season ? I’ve been reflecting upon the last twelve months. October 2017 was not a good one. Disappointments, several cancellations of birthday plans and consequent loss of work and income, lies and deceit. Realisations of deep rooted memories returning and #Motherships diagnosis of cognitive impairment. I was totally overwhelmed without anyone to confide… Read More »
Swirling Reflections Sitting up in bed with a cuppa. Awake for hours. I set the alarm for a day I’m not working. Plus the clocks went back an hour (GMT), so a 5.30am rude awakening. Feeling the grip at my throat; It’s not the physical hand of another. It’s the mental vice that held me “in my place”… Read More »
Chatting with someone the other evening, they hit me with this:- You have an intelligent eloquent style of writing that’s different to other cd/sissy / masochist/exploratory
Content Warning: mild references to sexual/mental abuse Fortitude noun: bravery when dealing with pain or difficulty, esp. over a long period “… I must admit, I find your fortitude in this roller coaster mind boggling……. ” October It’s always been a month of mixed emotions. As a child it trawls up memories of birthday parties and blowing out candles on a… Read More »
That’s part of a famous line uttered by Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. If there’s one thing that makes melody easier to identify in the swings and roundabouts of daily life it is in the expression of emotions. Emotion and me have had a rocky relationship over the years. We kind of gave up on each other… Read More »
I have an unexpected quiet day which gives me some leisure to put a few things in better and broader context. The last brainwashing and hypnosis sessions have had effects that I’m still processing and learning. On the back of a fresh foundation of submission, service and obedience driven deeper than ever in the brainwashing, the following hypnosis… Read More »
I wrote a few days ago on the sudden decision to wear heeled boots to work (Little Steps for Big Steps). Really I’d love to be able to wear court shoes with 4″ stilettos but that’s not going to happen any time soon. There’s quite a few things now where an aspect of melody rounds off the male… Read More »