Reading Time: 5 minutes
I’m Not A Slave – I was Bamboozled There are parts of my mind I can never reopen. Parts of my mind that need to stay locked. The parts that opened, I now realise, were burgeoning with subliminal messages and possibly drowning in confusion of discovering I liked the kink he showed me (without consent) […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Game, Set. Match That’s a great Avi As the drool hits the screen Another great body All buffed Shiny clean lace, heels, stockings Can you hear the clasps snap I’m new I’m exciting My bio screams “bait” The opening gambit The giggle back kissy face emojis Followback chat The usual style The change underway The […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
See You Next Tuesday Tuesday 14 May 2019 “See You Next Tuesday” Tuesday’s I always want to sleep as long as possible, invariably, I wake up really early, before six am and can’t settle back to sleepy snoozing. I then have 7 or 8 hours of restless pacing or trying to find errands or jobs […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Gratitude It’s the weirdest thing. Seeing my Twitter @name in a compilation list – The Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2019 I’m not a nuts and bolts, dildo testing, vibrator wielding, uncovered gusset angled writer. Whilst, I quickly add – zero judgements of others – this is, after all, how we learn from each other […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
One Wish Thoughts keep swirling into view then out again. My head aches from too many thoughts. I’m not a scholarly deep thinker I’m an over thinker An over analyser The last few days (at time of writing) have not been the best. I thought I was doing a lot better. It’s the first meltdown […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Consent Stomach churning Tightening against acid burns Bile rises more often now Crippling pain that wakes me from sleep Hot sweats cold shivers Nausea Vomiting How delightful Complicated from Physical damage Lies balancing on top of more lies An upturned pyramid Angled steps heading nowhere An Escher print of a complicated architectural testament of how […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Concierge I miss the man he pretended to be I fell for a mirage The essence his spells hypnotised me The mindWizard training Ensorcell A new milestone I never expected You’re never alone When cruelly rejected Humiliation is minor The lasting effects You feel all the guilt As your mind is swept clean Boundaries […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Camera Never Lies I wish I were able to take photos like many of the talented stills I see regularly on social media. Whether still life, animals, botanical or body parts from any angle. It started my mind twirling. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there can be one simple frame from […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Mental Media Scrolling and eye rolls Click and zoom No one’s alone When your phones in the room Laughing and joking Banter runs rife Nobody knows When you cyber fuck someone’s wife Writing deep prose Spilling ones guts The Majority laugh They still think you’re nuts Buying lace knickers For the one you adore It’s […]
Reading Time: 6 minutes
Kink and Fetish I am such a freaky chick. I get turned on by really odd things. I hadn’t realised until quite recently what turns me on to someone can also turn me completely off too. 1. Word Play – That’s one of my “things” – word play as flirting, challenging my mind with […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Betrayed I saw the idea to write daily via a semi pro writer/tweeter. It was to write 365 words everyday. I bent the directive to help maintain focus. I call it my #365Words. As I attempted the first few days, I found I had started to write prose, sometimes loosely rhyming, yet not a specific […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
One Year Blog Anniversary Month The Universe seems to be using my vulnerability against me. I’ll blame it on The Harvest Moon. A full moon. People extolling their own frustrations and dumping them on me. Others with noticeable mental health issues that are deliberately inflicting their brand of bad attitude I’m not certain if I’m […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Assessment & Swirling Twirls I need more therapy. There. I said it. Cue eye rolling and yawns for those that think I should’ve been locked up in a facility with my mouth taped shut a long time ago. It’s easier to know one needs counselling than to actively search for someone qualified without agenda to […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Nightmares and Dreams Ahhh the innocent days of making a wish on the Blue Moon, so many years ago, a once in a lifetime opportunity. Taking an enormous gamble. The risk of a lifetime. Facts, truth and information unknown. A seductive mystery A distinguished mastery A deception Moon madness That one wish that broke me […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
I hoped I’d feel so much better to have a goal and exceed it. I don’t feel its much of an achievement. I hurt as much today as I did 365 days ago. The only difference? 99% of it was not about me 1% – Me, believing the lies. I was brainwashed by an expert […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
The Core One step forward Feeling brave Finding A voice They think she’s a fool Learning starting The knave raising defences boundaries to make People around her Notice sigh “Fake” Eye rolls The mocking Waiting for signs Told you She’ll turn Static and flywheel No middle gears Hurting lonely No one around The heart breaking […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The “Why?” Of blogging I’m forever trying to figure out what I’ve done in this life to attract abusive, malevolent, intrusive, selfish, violent – verbal, physical and bullying – behaviour from two faced judgemental “perfect” people. It still continues, without direct contact – unprovoked. There will be more exploratory blogs of processing that will be […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Rituals and Memories It’s the way I tell ’em – Frank Carson, Comedian I like my life to be structured, ordered and in manageable sized tasks. It’s the best way I can handle all facets of external Influences without becoming overwhelmed and not losing my cool. My daily rituals are tweaked, trialled, tested and usually […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
You’re Worthless So I Subtweet I won’t ever ask you questions I won’t communicate Or share My thoughts With you, I’m too cowardly. I tell My friends about you. I make incorrect assumptions about you and your words, to mock you and your pathetic life. I know nothing about you I never read your blogs. I […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The Hero Is The Villain My mind is awash with swirling thoughts crashing into each other and not having anywhere to safely stow them whilst I’m processing the dozen other thoughts that were already crashing together inside my head. Sensory overload is a documented state. Only once my thoughts have calmed down to a gentler slower […]