Reading Time: 7 minutes Ignite Emotional abusers within the BDSM community are moving amongst us. They’re well known yet continue to “operate” shielded by sycophants. Often known as an “enabler” DM conversations have repeated the same names. Over and over again. Some of my online experiences (I’ll take 50%) have been through misunderstandings. Mine and theirs. I don’t give offence, it’s taken. If I’ve… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Gaslighting & Ghosting 7 Stages of Gaslighting in a Relationship The term originates from the Film ‘Fanny by Gaslight’ – A charming and handsome man with a dastardly past exploits his knowledge of her family history to manipulate an innocent young woman.
Reading Time: 6 minutes Clique Bait I’ve been thinking about the way I express myself quite a lot lately. Especially in the speedy way that Twitter makes my mind race too fast. I’ve mentioned in the past that what passes for my extremely dry/gallows/friendly sarcasm in real life is greatly skewed in typed form. Intonation, giggle, smiles and reciprocated put downs… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Reflections Part 2 – Exposed Married lovers ? Non Consensual non monogamous relationships Poly with multiple partners that other partners don’t know you’re Involved with but really should? Untreated STI Lying about sexual health Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase) Non disclosure of marital status long distance… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes CONTENT WARNING Mild references to Gaslighting Mild references to Sexual Assault “….. How will you re-engage with counselling ? You have a shit load to say now ! …..”
Reading Time: 5 minutes Reflection When we, okay I, think of blogging, I always think of the romantic frothy persona created by Carrie Bradshaw – the lead character from ‘sex and the City’ all those years ago. The truth is my life is nothing like hers apart from one (two if you count luxury footwear) major similarity. We both make… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Circle of Flames Something has been playing on my mind for quite some time. Boundaries. I realise I’ve never had many or as I’m beginning to accept – any. On early arrival onto Twitter somebody during the course of a DM conversation used the term ‘people pleaser’. The descriptions certainly echoed many things I was doing… Read More »
Reading Time: 2 minutes Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon. As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me. Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually very good at… Read More »
Reading Time: 1 minute Toxic Masculinity At times I’m told I’m too honest for my own good. In the workplace, mainly men led, I’m strong, capable and a ‘feisty little thing’. Although not always welcomed positively, my direction brings rapid results and successful conclusions. “Not bad for a girl. Well done !” Swirlingfire: A Posting History @Swirlingfire, 30 March… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Mentor When I first starting spending time with mindWizard I had no idea what my kinks were or how to articulate themes. I would get phases of him sending perfect bodied adults in typical B&W photos/gif. Not once did I knowingly consent to any other activity except OTK spanking. In agreeing… Read More »
Reading Time: 6 minutes CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Burn I’m feeling extremely fragile today. This morning a light bulb moment not only flashed, it also shattered. It all started reading a wonderful post via ‘ Floss does life ‘ about humiliation / degradation and how it plays out in scenes for both the Top and the Bottom. That blog was nothing… Read More »
Reading Time: 1 minute 200 Days No Contact I’m surprised that I’ve managed to get to a landmark number of zero contact with the mindWizard. It’s been really difficult to not turn to him regularly when I needed to talk about my mental health – ironically the issues he caused with his Narcissist ways. For those of you struggling not to text… Read More »
Reading Time: 5 minutes CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Sexual Assault Recovery Rape References – no details Mental Health Emotional Abuse A kindly DM from a follower recommending I read a blog post. I was cautious as I generally disregard bloggers that refuse point blank or rarely use CW on any of their posts. I read the piece after being assured it was… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes I feel myself slipping back into old patterns. It’s very difficult to understand if you’ve improved yourself when so much time is spent alone. Devoid of meaningful personal contact and care of friends/lovers it’s very subjective isn’t it ? For example – I much preferred living in sweet sweet denial when I thought all men behaved a certain… Read More »
Reading Time: 5 minutes “…… **The dreaded drop that messes with your head. Fortunately, that level of drop doesn’t happen to me often. But I have also felt the massive high that only a satisfied sub who feels useful can feel. The feeling that I’ve satisfied and pleased someone….. “ My Submission – taken and stirred. Until a few years ago I never… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Some of us share so much about our private lives without the full knowledge of where and by whom this information is being collated. For what purpose ? Who will be able to find us and learn our true identities with a few keystrokes / computer keyboard wizardry ? We make choices based upon individual circumstances and… Read More »
Reading Time: 6 minutes I’ve actually explored this topic before. My launch as SwirlingFire was literally a baptism by fire. I’d not learnt to use my voice. I’d become a passive mute when it mattered. When I started to speak it was a lava flow of frustration, hurt, anger, sadness, self realisation, unknown grief and too many memories of trauma returning… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes Content Warning: Mild reference to mental abuse. I’ve had long spells of celibacy sporadically from my twenties right up until I met “the mind wizard”. I went on dates, with lovely men (or so I thought at the time) it was rare to meet someone that knew how to communicate with me. I let a few goods ones… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes I always thought the main reason for life was having dreams and goals, working hard and achieving great personal things in life. The destination. Many years later, older, I’m not so sure any wiser or mature, I find I’m growing in ways that feel so alien. As much as I dislike the phrase, this new time in my… Read More »
Reading Time: 1 minute