Reading Time: 2 minutes
Betrayal A weird feeling in the pit of my stomach It’s not anxiety It’s different It feels like it’s attached Deep inside my core. I thought at first I needed more water to drink, The trembling of dehydration in soaring temperatures That moment before The room goes silent You feel as though you’re about to […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Betrayal ! It’s an ugly word. For me betrayal apparently happens over small things, it’s not the big thing that others describe replete with the frenzy of Armageddon. In fact I think the worst betrayal I experienced was because she didn’t know she’d done it, despite it being implemented months before it was activated.
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Survive: Part 2 [Part one of @SwirlingFire’s survival guide is here: Survive – Part 1]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Survive How to survive:- Wake up every morning but you wish you hadn’t Make a morning coffee and sit quietly contemplating what horrors will be reactivated inside ones mind Start the process of slipping back into auto pilot to care for #Mothership Navigate around the home without falling apart into a tearful sobbing mess so […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Laughter, Tears, Twisted Thoughts and Fears Current status: sat in coffee shop reviewing Wicked Wednesday entries for prompt 365 -Laughter Laughing and giggling with an almost four year old and his little brother Charlie. The innocence of childhood in an apparent happy family unit. Both little boys were animated in their conversation with me, from […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
The CP sessions with the domme started some months after the hypnosis. Even so it’s nearly three years since that first one. After the latest CP session (yesterday at time of starting this post) I’ve had time to reflect on how much I’ve changed and accomplished in those three years. That first CP session was […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
#WickedWednesday Prompt #365 – Laughter This Shirley temple giggle gif is probably the one I’m known for using most frequently – when I’ve genuinely giggled with a tweet thread. Extract: During a laugh, respiration, heart rate and blood pressure temporarily rise. This causes oxygen to surge through the bloodstream that then results in lower blood […]
Reading Time: 7 minutes
The Request I’ve never made a secret of my introduction into the depraved and darkly delicious addictive ways of a malevolent dom of shady intentions. I think I’ve written more than thirty blogs about the ways I was manipulated and coerced into a non-consensual D/s “affair” – which, upon reflection can be termed as “CNC”. […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
In this age of online social media it’s not uncommon for people, especially kids, to say that they have hundreds of friends. Those of us slightly older remember the sage advice that if you can reach the end of your life counting true friends on the fingers of more than one hand, then you’ve been […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Reflections Part 2 – Exposed Married lovers ? Non Consensual non monogamous relationships Poly with multiple partners that other partners don’t know you’re Involved with but really should? Untreated STI Lying about sexual health Hiding our real sexual orientation or who we really feel we are (apologies don’t know correct term/phrase) Non disclosure of marital […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Silent Scream I’m sat cross legged on a squishy futon. As I brush fluff from my trousers The woman opposite mirrors me. Expertly examining my face and body language for “tells”. I smile inwardly whilst feeling that familiar catch in my throat and my chest tightening are about to betray my cool exterior. I’m usually […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
CONTENT WARNING TRIGGER WARNING Emotional Abuse Mentor When I first starting spending time with mindWizard I had no idea what my kinks were or how to articulate themes. I would get phases of him sending perfect bodied adults in typical B&W photos/gif. Not once did I knowingly consent to any other activity except OTK […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
What we perceive to be parallel lines, aren’t. My technical brain can envisage two things side-by-side going on forever. The science of perspective tells me I can never actually see this. The vanishing point in a picture is something to cause wonder. The works of Vermeer are a wonderful example of putting the parallel in […]
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I looked at this week’s prompt for #WickedWednesday of “fear” and thought it would be a good topic. After 4 or 5 abortive attempts I find that I can’t write on it. I’ve failed in the original intent, but I think the abrupt change in direction leaves what’s left as more valid than what I […]
Reading Time: 6 minutes
I’ve actually explored this topic before. My launch as SwirlingFire was literally a baptism by fire. I’d not learnt to use my voice. I’d become a passive mute when it mattered. When I started to speak it was a lava flow of frustration, hurt, anger, sadness, self realisation, unknown grief and too many memories […]
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Content Warning: Mild reference to mental abuse. I’ve had long spells of celibacy sporadically from my twenties right up until I met “the mind wizard”. I went on dates, with lovely men (or so I thought at the time) it was rare to meet someone that knew how to communicate with me. I let a […]
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Celibacy – the abstinence from sex. That seems clear cut and cold, yet there’s so much more to it. Depending on the person involved the reasons for abstinence vary widely.
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I always thought the main reason for life was having dreams and goals, working hard and achieving great personal things in life. The destination. Many years later, older, I’m not so sure any wiser or mature, I find I’m growing in ways that feel so alien. As much as I dislike the phrase, this new […]
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“In my opinion, there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind. Stephen Hawking”
Exploring your mind is something that can be done whilst warm under the duvet. A post for #WickedWednesday prompt oof
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Whilst trying to reconcile my past traumas (until very recently repressed) and also with my current state of learning how I’d been treated badly by a d-type, I started thinking about the chronology of my life. Memories comes thick and fast. A minimum of a shudder – and sometimes, a full body blow impact. Time […]