Reading Time: 6 minutes I’ve actually explored this topic before. My launch as SwirlingFire was literally a baptism by fire. I’d not learnt to use my voice. I’d become a passive mute when it mattered. When I started to speak it was a lava flow of frustration, hurt, anger, sadness, self realisation, unknown grief and too many memories of trauma returning… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes Content Warning: Mild reference to mental abuse. I’ve had long spells of celibacy sporadically from my twenties right up until I met “the mind wizard”. I went on dates, with lovely men (or so I thought at the time) it was rare to meet someone that knew how to communicate with me. I let a few goods ones… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Celibacy – the abstinence from sex. That seems clear cut and cold, yet there’s so much more to it. Depending on the person involved the reasons for abstinence vary widely.
Reading Time: 3 minutes As we hurtle through life we navigate it in light of our fears. We restrict ourselves to taking the safe path to avoid crippling anxiety.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Something of an experimental foray in to #SinfulSunday Swap the court shoes for boots of similar heel height and you have what melody wore in public on Friday.
Reading Time: 3 minutes I always thought the main reason for life was having dreams and goals, working hard and achieving great personal things in life. The destination. Many years later, older, I’m not so sure any wiser or mature, I find I’m growing in ways that feel so alien. As much as I dislike the phrase, this new time in my… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes “In my opinion, there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind. Stephen Hawking”
Exploring your mind is something that can be done whilst warm under the duvet. A post for #WickedWednesday prompt oof
Reading Time: < 1 minute
Reading Time: 4 minutes I can come across as a right anti-social little bugger. One of the reasons is that I have low threshold tolerance to ambient noise. I’ve always been that way and recently it’s got significantly worse. The trigger for this thought train came from a Twitter thread on films. It becomes a bit of a joke when similar discussions… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes Something I keep nagging at is how real is melody ? Is she some kind of play acting thrown at me by my psyche as a joke to excuse a cross dressing fetish by pretending it’s real ?
Reading Time: 2 minutes Your grief is not tolerated here – #Blocked I was angry in the past when I was unable to articulate the flood of memories of my past and later life trauma returning. Unfortunately people were caught up inside my emotional tsunami. A SwirlWind or a SwirlStorm as it was later referenced Only a few people had the… Read More »
Reading Time: 2 minutes I tend to get caught up in semantics and precisely what a word means to me. Lately my thoughts have turned to the word vulnerable and it’s sibling, vulnerability and how my changing perceptions relate to another key word, trust.
Reading Time: 5 minutes Truth and Respect “…. You play with your prey before death – I go straight for the jugular…..” The most insightful way I learn about my self daily is from conversations with trusted confidantes. These people are an extremely rare commodity in my life. I never trust easily, with good reason. I don’t offer my friendship unless I’m… Read More »
Reading Time: 2 minutes Coffee and WiFi I’m sat in the little coffee place I’ve walked passed a thousand times. It’s the only place open locally to sit and write with WiFi. It’s full of men having very late breakfast style plates of food. It’s bustling and very popular with the non coffee house type set one normally sees on a regular… Read More »
Reading Time: 2 minutes Kintsugi – Beautifully Flawed I’m not entirely certain why I’ve been in two minds to release the most current (as yet unavailable) blog post. The hardest part is not in the writing but the “setting free” – not the words/grammar/subject matter. It’s the knowledge that my thoughts are committed to writing. I was posed this question: “… Read More »
Reading Time: 4 minutes Content Warning Pictures of needle play It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and less than two years ago it wouldn’t have been mine, either. In fact, it was something of a hard limit.
Reading Time: 6 minutes I wasn’t going to go all retrospective about 2018 until I thought that in some ways it’s been quite momentous and that I need to acknowledge and celebrate that.
Reading Time: 5 minutes This post is me cathartically venting. It is my way of dumping an unpleasant time over Christmas and moving on (until next time). CONTENT WARNING This post contains examples of the stream of consciousness I was subjected to over two days of Christmas. Be warned that it contains examples of :- Transphobia / Homophobia Racism Misogyny Body shaming… Read More »
Reading Time: 2 minutes Whilst trying to reconcile my past traumas (until very recently repressed) and also with my current state of learning how I’d been treated badly by a d-type, I started thinking about the chronology of my life. Memories comes thick and fast. A minimum of a shudder – and sometimes, a full body blow impact. Time has made me… Read More »
Reading Time: 3 minutes The last brainwashing session completely destroyed my sense of time. It was no accident, she designed it that way and although outcomes with hypnosis are far from being guaranteed, her design succeeded quite spectacularly.